Saying the Name

[dfrankiswork at netscape.net]

No: HPFGUIDX 23873

Frankis & Stein
"Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

>From the Office of the President

My associate, Statistica Stein, was clearing out some of her old files the other day, and came across the following.  I report it here as it sheds some light on an issue which is still dividing the Wizarding World.  As I recall, it created something of a stir at the time, largely because the security breach was never traced.

The Daily Prophet, 4 July 1981.

Split at Top of Phoenix Order:  Forces of Light Divided
>From Our Special Correspondent, Rita Skeeter

Top Mugwump and Headmaster of Hogwarts Albus Dumbledore is having trouble controlling his fractious troops.  Students of his hands-off style will not be surprised to hear that a dispute about naming the Dark Lord has riven his followers into competing camps.  For Daily Prophet readers I can exclusively reveal the minutes of a top-secret meeting of the shadowy 'Order of the Phoenix' which he commands with iron indecision.

Dumbledore:  I call the meeting to order.  Our main topic today is the tactics to be used to keep the Dark Lord from harming James and Lily Potter.  Any suggestions?

Hagrid: Before we decide that, can I jus' ask, when yeh say his name, do yeh pronounce the T at the end?

McGonagall:  Of course you do.  It's spelt Voldemort, so it's pronounced Voldemort.  The answer is in the question.  Surely someone of even your limited academic attainments can see that, Hagrid.

Dumbledore: I...

Hagrid:  But I think it's French.  Yeh can' trust the French.  Stands to reason an evil Dark Wizard would take a French name like Voldemore.

Dumbledore:  If...

McGonagall:  Really, Hagrid, we all know Voldemort is English.  Anyone who has read Hogwarts: A History would know that nearly all Hogwarts problems have come from the Sassenach foe beating down the just...

Potter:  If I might suggest a compromise.  Perhaps we can move forward here by calling him You-Know-Who.  Then we can all agree on how to defeat him.

Hagrid:  Yeah, I like tha'.  Yeh-Know-Who, yeah, I can live with tha'.

McGonagall:  James, it surely is a little colloquial.  If you must use it, at least say You-Know-Whom.  But if we are to have a euphemism of this sort, I suggest He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is more fitting for...

Hagrid: No, You-Know-Who

At this point the proceedings are interrupted by a knock on the door.  Dumbledore lifts his head out of his hands and says 'Enter'; a greasy black-haired sallow-featured hook-nosed young man enters.

Dumbledore (twinkling): My friends, may I introduce our latest recruit, Mr Severus Snape, who has provided invaluable service against the Death Eaters.

Snape: (Looks carefully round the room, takes out wand) Coleopterasplat. (Wand turns into a fly swatter)

At this point your correspondent remembered an urgent prior engagement and had to leave this most interesting discussion.  Our regular readers will take his association with such an unsavoury person as Mr Snape as further evidence of Albus Dumbledores failing grip on his work.
...

There is a little more, but this provides the gist.  I hope those not around at that momentous time can see how the effects are still with us today.

Best Regards

David Frankis
President, Frankis & Stein
Infurn Alley
London




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