Breathe in Water (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 24587

Breathe in Water (from GoF, Chap. 24)

(To the tune of Black Water) 

Dedicated to Pippin (this filk is based on some of the same material 
as Pippin's Under the Lake, one of the all-time classics – find it on 
the Goblet of Fire page on the address given below)

THE SCENE: The library. Huge stacks of ancient books piled 
everywhere. A thoroughly exhausted HARRY (with the assistance of an 
equally exhausted RON & HERMIONE) desperately scours through volume 
after volume in the Restricted Section for a charm that will allow 
him to breathe underwater

HARRY
Well, I aced the first task but on my laurels I basked
Said "February, that's such a long ways"
I stopped that Egg's screechin', but no key I'm reachin' 
It seems I'll be wearing that egg on my face

RW & HG: Breath in water, we're researchin' 
HP: Miscellaneous tomes, won't you please an answer provide? 
RW & HG: How can Harry swim with perchin'?
HP: Misinformin' tomes, on some page the answer you hide
RW & HG: Breath in water, keep on searchin'
HP: Misassembled tomes, why can't you in Harry confide?

HARRY
I must soon take a dive, and go full fathom five
But can I hit bottom and still survive?
But I find no solution
Or no resolution, you see
You know I've surveyed each book, but still a search engine I lack
If I were online, I'd know what to do 
I'd click Google, HotBot or Yahoo!, and scan the Web all through
All three contenders I could then outdo




(All fall asleep. Black-out. When lights rise again, they reveal 
HARRY alone in the library, in deep slumber, his face buried in a 
copy of Dreadful Denizens of the Deep. Enter DOBBY)

DOBBY 
He's read each book upon the shelf, next time he oughta just ask an 
elf

(DOBBY awakens HARRY, and foists a handful of disgusting green stuff 
in his face)

Gonna eat some slimy gillyweed, `cause it's gonna give you everything 
you need

HARRY
If I eat some slimy gillyweed, for a month it's gonna put me off my 
feed

DOBBY
Gills and fins you'll get with gillyweed, you'll get your Wheezy back 
with rapid speed

HARRY & DOBBY
When I/you eat some slimy gillyweed, I'm/you're at the second task 
sure to succeed 

HARRY
So I'll eat this slimy gillyweed, as Dobby proves himself a friend 
indeed

HARRY exits toward the Lake, as DOBBY returns to the kitchen

    - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm