[HPforGrownups] Re: Harry's upbringing

[Jenett]

No: HPFGUIDX 30585

At 10:50 AM -0500 12/2/01, Chip Olson wrote:
>My wife, who studied the effects and implications of childhood trauma
>very intensively in graduate school, has commented that Harry's level
>of coping and social adjustment is far, far higher than could be
>expected from someone with that kind of upbringing, to the point of
>being utterly unrealistic. She would have expected him to develop into
>a complete sociopath (and she is *very* much not the sort to
>underestimate the resilience of the human psyche).

I think it honestly depends - I know a couple of people who come from 
similarly nasty backgrounds who are good and stable people now, and 
able to get on with their lives. In at least one case, the person in 
question was about as resilient as Harry at a similar age (and 
managed to deal with getting themselves out of the environment at 
about 15.)

I think there's a couple of reasons that he comes out of it so strongly.

1) He did have loving and stable parents when he was little. This has 
already been commented on in this thread, so I'm just mentioning it.

2) It's also likely that the actual seriously nasty stuff from the 
Dursleys didn't start until he was somewhat older (4 or 5). For one 
thing, there's not a lot of amusement value in teasing someone who 
doesn't yet comprehend that you're poking fun at them.

3) We don't know anything about his early schooling, except that part 
of that time, Dudley and co. picked on him. It's certainly possible 
that he got a portion of stability from school or a particular 
teacher, even if he doesn't recall it as special. He certainly 
*seems* to have done at least reasonably well in school, as we never 
see problems with his comprehension or writing skills in the books, 
except when he's missing wizarding world context for information. 
(And he's not the one having problems writing enough inches for his 
essays at Hogwarts, either.)

4) We don't know what sort of stuff he was reading in school, or 
perhaps in his closet. A reasonable portion of children's literature 
(particularly some of the more British-specific literature) focuses 
on this kind of 'unwilling and poor parenting' and an eventual happy 
ending if you can just hang in there long enough.

5) The stuff the Dursleys do to him is very clearly *not right* - 
it's not subtle, it's not careful. It's blatant and obvious that 
there's something wrong. It's a lot easier to be resilient against 
something that is so blatantly wrong than it is against something 
subtle. (And even the emotional stuff isn't subtle.)

6) It's my impression that the British school system is a little more 
flexible in regards to people getting away from neglectful parents 
than the American one is. (I'm American, my parents were British and 
raised in Ireland and Wales, respectively) - my impression is that 
it's somewhat easier to deal with college/schools if you're bright 
(including tuition) if you don't have parental support, but are 
willing to work hard. Not *easy*, maybe, but easier than the process 
for trying to get massive loans for school without parental/guardian 
filing of forms is in the US. Thus there's a possible hypothesis that 
he might have realised that if he just hung in there, quietly got 
good marks, and got himself out as soon as possible, he'd be ok.

7) The stuff he goes through is unpleasant, certainly, but again, 
he's not suffering from ongoing physical abuse in the sense of 
physical injuries. He gets fed. He gets clothed. Much of the time, he 
seems to be ignored, rather than used/manipulated/teased, especially 
if he does his chores (which, again, while not particularly *fair* 
for an 11 year old to be doing, aren't exactly seriously painful 
either.) If he's got a light in his cupboard, ok, it's not exactly 
*comfortable* or luxurious, but if he's in there, Dudley can't do 
much to him, and he could escape to his own thoughts.

8) The 'rules' he has to follow also seem to be reasonably consistent 
- the times he slips up, it's pretty clear that he knew exactly what 
happened. That's different from a situation where the rules change 
every day. Again, if he just keeps his head down and follows the 
rules, it mostly seems like he gets left largely alone. This is a lot 
easier to deal with than if he got punished one day for doing 
something he'd been told not to do the previous day, or if there was 
a constant flipping of attitude.

9) It seems like Harry is at least something of an introvert - it's 
usually a lot easier for introverts to deal with certain kinds of 
teasing or unpleasant stuff if they're already reasonably resilient, 
because they find it easier to retreat into their own heads. I think 
there's reasonable evidence from the books to suggest Harry does this 
at least sometimes. It's a lot harder for someone who needs much more 
interaction with others to stay amused/content/not-bored to do this 
as easily.

-Jenett
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