Dead Dursleys = High Comedy

[heathernmoore]

No: HPFGUIDX 31176

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "finwitch" <finwitch at y...> wrote:
> --- In HPforGrownups at y..., idouright2 at a... wrote:
> 
> I'm a bit grim: They die! Dudley in school and Petunia in parent's 
> night/work/hobby - and Vernon at work!
> 
> As because: Voldemort knows that no one can get at Harry while he's 
> in the care of his relatives OR at Hogwarts under Dumbledore's nose. 
> He wants Harry dead. What's he to do? Kill off Harry's relatives!

 Urgh! That's a pleasant scenario. 

 But you could really get sitcomesque with it! Just imagine the implications: with the Dursleys dead, it falls to (horrors!) Severus to look after Harry during the summer holidays. 
Of course Sirius won't have that, no sir, so he hangs about Hogwarts dodging Dementors and getting into endless arguments with Severus over who is/should really be responsible for Harry. By early July, most of the other teachers run off to enjoy the shore at Brighton just to get some peace and quiet, and Lupin takes a temporary job back at the school assisting Dumbledore with paperwork. 

Dumbledore refuses to step in, supporting both sides equally and occasionally dragging Harry about on business with him just to get the poor kid out of the line of fire. Lupin follows Dumbledore's lead and also refuses to take sides, to Sirius' astonishment. Between Severus' and Sirius' interpersonal difficulties and constant badmouthing of each other, Severus' hyperactive criticism, and Sirius' overbearing and ostentatious attempts to buy Harry off, Harry begins to wonder whether he was better off with his aunt, uncle and cousin.

But the Dursleys are horribly pissed off about being dead, doncha know, and just in time for Harry's birthday they finally arrive in pissed-off-ghostly-style at Hogsmeade to ruin his birthday party at the Three Broomsticks....