Harry's questions/Hogwarts & sex ed (was: SHIPPING NEWS!)

[blpurdom]

No: HPFGUIDX 32161

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "kiricat2001" <Zarleycat at a...> wrote:
> I'm sure the questions will be along the lines of "Why does 
> Voldemort want to kill me?"  "V didn't want to kill my mother - 
> did he want to kill my father?"  "Where are my parents 
> buried?" "What happened to the rest of my family?"  "What else do 
> you people (Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, maybe even Snape) know 
> about me and my heritage that you're not telling me?"  "Why is all 
> this such a big secret?"

Add to that, "What did my parents do for a living?" and "What's the 
REAL reason that Snape hates me?"  (James saving his life just 
doesn't seem to be plausible.)  Of course, we'd also like questions 
answered that have little or nothing to do with his parents, such 
as "How did Dumbledore defeat Grindelwald?"  "What did Snape do with 
his first chance?"  "Why does Snape hate Neville so much?" "What's 
Rita Skeeter going to do now?"  "Will the giants help the good 
guys?"  "Will the dementors run amok?"  and "Will the house-elves 
ultimately be helpful to the good guys or just continue to speak in 
very squeaky, annoying voices?"
 
> As far as a birds and bees talk, wouldn't you love to hear how 
> Vernon Dursley would handle that?  Or maybe Molly Weasley will 
> tell Arthur that it's time he sat Ron and Harry down for a little 
> chat.  Or perhaps Sirius will feel it's his godfatherly duty to 
> sent a letter to Harry outlining everything Harry needs to know 
> about sex at the age of fifteen...

I doubt Harry would need to ask questions about this because he grew 
up in the Muggle world.  He probably either a) had a very clinical 
course in this in school before going to Hogwarts [can former UK 
students confirm this?] or b) Dudley and his friends tried to 
horrify him with a gruesomely described version of sexual mechanics, 
[learned either from porn magazines Piers Polkiss or Dennis or 
Gordon obtained illegally or from speaking to one of their older 
brothers who was in turn trying to frighten them].  In the case that 
information came through Dudley et al it might not be very reliable, 
of course.

Hermione very likely received a very scientific book from her 
parents when she was seven or eight and read it and understood it 
immediately and doesn't understand (lots of eye rolling) when other 
kids her age make sniggering jokes about sex.  Ron, on the other 
hand, probably heard things from his older brothers, so there's a 
possibility of the Dudley et al misinformation problem again  
(especially any information coming from the twins, who may possibly 
know the correct information, but once again, they might want to 
mess with Ron's head).

I've read a couple of funny fanfics about Snape, of all people, 
conducting seminars on sex education.  He tended to bark like a 
drill instructor quite a lot and make disparaging remarks about the 
boys' orientation.  I think Snape would sooner cut off his right arm 
than do anything of the sort (not the part about making disparaging 
remarks--he clearly has no aversion to this).  If he ever got his 
memory back, I suppose I could picture Gilderoy Lockhart running 
such a seminar, but it would probably degenerate into him trying to 
teach all of the boys how to be little Don Juans (or little Gilderoy 
Lockharts, as the case may be).

--Barb

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