The Dursleys and the Potters

[naama_gat at hotmail.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 11729

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., msmacgoo at o... wrote:
> Naana - great post, really made me think (now I'm going to tear your 
> ideas to shread - not really!)

Thanks for the compliment. And my name is Naama, pronounced Na'ama. (If anybody's 
interested - its a biblical name. One of Solomon's wives was a Naama. Its fairly popular 
now in Israel.)

> 
> I question that Pet' and Vernon care for Dudders, they may think they 
> do, but I don't think they do. They don't do anything that is in his 
> interets - they over feed him, coddle him, allow him to be an 
> emotional and phsyscal bully, protect him from real life etc ...

When I say 'care' I mean an emotional attitude, not its expression. For me to care is to 
feel with someone, and I think that we definitely see that Petunia especially is extremely 
sensitive to how Dudley feels. Of course they spoil him rotton, that goes without saying. 
But they do love him. There are children who are over indulged without being loved, but 
thats not the case with Dudley dear.

> 
> A long time ago we had a very contentious thread - which I don't want 
> to revisit (loud sigh of relief from listers around at that time) - 
> about child abuse in HP. The relevent bit here is that the Dursely's 
> really neglect Dudders needs as a person, by giving in to him on 
> every account they fail to give him any preperation for life, any 
> real ability to relate to ppl, to learn to share or *anything* (runs 
> out of eleiquence).
> 
> Interesting that they can have an apparently harmonious relationship 
> in the face of this excess isn't it. Another case of Harry POV?
> 
> Also - if they had not been saddled with the unwanted Harry, might 
> they have been more balenced parents to the unfortunately named 
> Duddly?

Well... maybe just a little. My feeling is that somehow the way they pamper Dudley and the 
way they abuse Harry is connected to the same psychological ... thing (complex.. whatever) 
they have. 

<snip>

Naama