Lupin - The Dream - Harry's trust (long)

[Amy Z]

No: HPFGUIDX 11866

Margaret wrote:

> But of course Lupin is not perfect. He has a problem with intimacy. 
> For example, he is reluctant at first to tutor Harry. Then, during 
> one of their sessions when Harry needs a little emotional support, 
> Lupin seems to want to provide it but draws back instead. He even 
> fails to tell Harry that he and Harry's father were friends at 
> school until it slips out during a session.

and also:

>7. Sirius had previously told Harry to seek out Professor Dumbledore 
>the next time his scar hurt, and Harry actually does it. How big of a 
>step forward is this for a kid who has previously >avoided confiding 
>in anyone or asking for help?

It's interesting that these two topics were scheduled for the same 
week, since I see a connection between these observations.  

The Lupin/Harry interactions are some of my very favorite parts of the 
whole series.  Harry also has what you might call a problem with 
intimacy, especially, as you point out, when it comes to asking for 
advice or help (even from Dumbledore, whom he trusts so much).  His 
first one-on-one conversation with Lupin marks a breakthrough, despite 
Lupin's own reticence:  Lupin asks him whether anything is worrying 
him, he says no, then he takes the plunge and tells Lupin what's on 
his mind--in contrast to his decision in the similar conversation with 
Dumbledore in CS.  Maybe it *isn't* despite Lupin's reticence but 
*because* of it; maybe Harry picks up on Lupin's reserve that is so 
like his own, and responds to it by trusting him.  

Harry's going to Dumbledore in "The Dream" is a big step in a gradual 
evolution toward being more open, trusting, and willing to seek 
counsel from adults.  When he first enters the wizarding world, Harry 
has every reason to believe that adults are not to be trusted or even 
approached (rule #1 of living with the Dursleys:  don't ask 
questions).  I think Lupin's surprising and gratifying response in 
that first conversation--admitting that he'd deliberately stopped 
Harry from facing the boggart, using Voldemort's name, and 
giving voice to Harry's fear that Lupin had been thinking him 
weak--helps Harry take the bigger step later in PA of confiding to him 
what the Dementors do to him, something he's been keeping even from 
Ron and Hermione.  Harry opens up in ways we've never seen him do--I'm 
thinking particularly of his declaration of trust and (as he thinks) 
betrayal in the Shrieking Shack ("I trusted you, and all the time 
you've been his friend") and of how quickly and passionately he 
responds when he learns Lupin has resigned.  Harry's relationship with 
Lupin lays the groundwork for his trusting Sirius at the beginning of 
GF and then, finally, trusting him enough to tell Dumbledore about his 
scar as Sirius has told him to (I agree, this is a big moment).

Lupin seems a little distant, reserved to a fault perhaps, to those of 
us who are generally trusting and wear our hearts on our sleeves (I 
noticed how often he speaks "coolly").  But Harry probably wouldn't 
think it odd that Lupin didn't volunteer the fact that he'd known 
Harry's parents or that he holds back from putting an arm around him, 
and it isn't surprising that Harry reproaches himself for asking Lupin 
about Black, rather than reproaching Lupin for being so closemouthed 
about something of urgent importance to Harry.  The latter response 
might be expected from a kid (such as Ron or Hermione) who is 
accustomed to adults' being a source of advice, information, and 
comfort.  But for Harry, with his background of neglect and secrecy, 
Lupin is a huge stride forward:  an adult who doesn't pry or show his 
own inner life much, but who is kind and concerned and therefore helps 
draw out Harry's own trust.

Thoughts?

Amy Z

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  "Cool, sir!" said Dean Thomas in amazement.
  "Thank you, Dean," said Professor Lupin.
                -HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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