Skeeter of the Daily Prophet (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 8348

Skeeter of the Daily Prophet 

(to the title song from Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera)

(Scene: A Chamber in Hogwarts. Enter Harry, Hagrid and Hermione)

HARRY:
My owl he bought to me the daily news
And after reading it I blew a fuse
For then I realized with a sickened thrill
That Skeeter of the Daily Prophet had raised again her quill

HAGRID:
She came and spoke with me, led me astray
Next thing I knew she wrote a Skrewt expose 
She made me seem like some type of Giant clown
That Skeeter of the Daily Prophet wants to take me down 

SKEETER (emerging from a broom closet)
Now for that interview 
Please step inside
I'll twist each word askew
You'll end up fried
My loyal readership wants nothing less  
That to Skeeter of the Daily Prophet each secret you'll confess
(re-enters closet)

HARRY, HAGRID, HERMIONE
She's there, Rita Skeeter of the Prophet!
Beware, Rita Skeeter of the Prophet!

HERMIONE 
In the last edition of her cheap gazette
That woman pictured me in bright scarlet
This time, sweet Rita dear, you've gone too far
And Skeeter of the Daily Prophet will soon be set ajar!

(Hermione transfigures a couple of pincushions into a butterfly net 
and a large glass jar. Laughing demonically, she enters the broom 
closet)

	- CMC