The Riddle Manor House (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 8593

The Riddle Manor House (from Chap. 1 of GoF)

(To the tune of A Little Bit of Luck, from My Fair Lady)

(The Scene: The deserted Riddle estate at Little Hangleton.  Enter 
VOLDEMORT - in a shrunken and hideous form -  along with WORMTAIL and 
NAGINI)


V: We require a new base of operation
N: A place where we can strengthen and regroup
W: And we've now found the ideal location
V: It's the Riddle Manor House 
At my departed Daddy's house
We'll knock Harry Potter for a loop!
ALL: At the Riddle Hut, at the Riddle Hut
We'll take Potter down in one fell swoop!

W: When I met Bertha Jorkins in Albania
I knew at once just what I had to do 
N: I'm afraid you left her feelin' a tad insane-ya
ALL: For at the Riddle Manor House 
At the Riddle Manor House
We're all gearing up to launch Phase Two! 
W & N: At the Riddle Hut, at the Riddle Hut
We're co-conspirators with You-Know-Who!

ALL: We can slither so straight and narrow 
`Cause at the Riddle Domicile 
We can get vile!

N: This summer they're holding the Quidditch World Cup
W: Everyone in Wizardom will be there
V: But if we make sure a few Death Eaters show up
ALL: Then from the Riddle Manor House 
>From the Riddle Manor House
We'll vicariously enjoy their scare!
>From the Riddle Hut, from the Riddle Hut
We'll lean back and watch the skulls in air!

N: The Triwizards will be held at Hogwarts
W: Three champions will strive to win each game
V: But when Barty C. gives his inside reports
Then from the Riddle Manor House 
>From the Riddle Manor House
We'll make sure we add another name 
>From the Riddle Hut, from the Riddle Hut
We will tamper with that cup of flame!

W & N: To win the Triwizard's a triumph! 
V: But what if the trophy's 
A portkey? 

V: I've been feeling a bit under the weather
For maybe the last 13 years or so
But I'm about to get my act together 
N & W: At the Riddle Manor House 
At the Riddle Manor House
We'll soon have Voldy lookin' all aglow!
Add a little bit, add a little bit 
Add some bone and blood and watch him grow!

(enter Frank Bryce, a Muggle. All eyes turn toward him) 

N: I think we have an unexpected visit
>From a Muggle, a most unwelcome guest
V: I'm really not sure that we can permit it
ALL: So, at the Riddle Manor House 
At the Riddle Manor House
We must send him to eternal rest
With a little hex, with a little hex
We'll make sure that he'll not be a pest

(Voldy performs the Kedrava curse, causing Bryce's instant death) 

 - CMC