To Con Dementors (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 9573

To Con Dementors (from Chap 21, PoA)

(To the tune of The Continental, from the 1934 film The Gay Divorcee. 
The reader should imagine Harry and Hermione performing this piece as 
a Rogers-Astaire number)

(THE SCENE: Madam Pomfrey's infirmary.  Sirius Black has been 
sentenced to receive the Dementor's Kiss. ALBUS DUMBLEDORE has just 
reviewed the utter hopelessness of Black's situation with HARRY 
POTTER and HERMIONE GRANGER)

DUMBLEDORE (as if lost in thought)
Beautiful concept! Danger is with him!
It's very daring, you'll con Dementors
We know that Black was guilty of no crime
She'll use that thing that Minerva lent her
To go three hours back in time

(Exit DUMBLEDORE)

HARRY
I'm sure I must sound like I'm off-center 
But what's Dumbledore talking about?

HERMIONE 
OK, I'll tell you – I'm no pretender
It's a kind of time-travel route


 

(HERMIONE shows the time-turner to HARRY)

It looks just like an hourglass
I use it when I go to class

I go time-turning to do more learning
I'm supposed to use it just for school

HARRY
But now I see, yes  - to save Sirius
It ought to be the perfect tool.

BOTH
When through time you travel
You must be careful, and so bewareful
Your life you could unravel
It's paradoxic, it can be toxic

HERMIONE
You know that once I turn this stem
That it's 9 o'clock, not 12 a.m.

BOTH
And we'll find through chronic travel 
That both Black and Buckbeak we can save
>From a premature visit to the grave
To con Dementors, just go back in time!

(HERMIONE give the time-turner three turns – they both vanish)

   - CMC