fanfic

[Marvin Long]

No: HPFGUIDX 10007

So far I think I'm going to eschew HP fanfic because IMO it really 
can skew one's perception of character.  After Star Wars ep 1 I 
became obsessed for a while with the "Sith Academy" universe of 
fic/slash, even to point of writing a story, and I frankly can't look 
at any of the Ep 1 characters without cracking up now.  

Of course, in the case of Ep 1 that's no great loss.  Now, something 
for H shippers to think about....

Er, or not.  This isn't the most positive of visions.

*****

Assuming HP survives until adulthood, deafeats big V, and doesn't 
lose his magic or destroy the wizarding world in the process, he's 
going to be the biggest celebrity in the wizzing world (hrm...maybe 
that's not such a good euphemism).  Anyway, he's going to 18 and more 
popular than Krum.  He's going to be a cross between Wilt Chamberlain 
and Audy Murphy.  In short, by achieving all this success at the age 
when his hormones are pumping their hardest, he's going to have an 
unprecented opportunity and motive to play the field...and he will.

Why?  Because in spite of defeating V, he's going to have the 
subconcious ghosts and resentments of his muggle upbringing to 
purge.  All the deprivation and denial-of-affection he suffered will 
return to haunt him at an age when people tend to be very emotionally 
(and, er, physically) needy anyway.  And he'll overcompensate not in 
the V-style "conquer the world way," but in traditional muggle 
fashion.

He'll leave little HP Jrs all over the world.  Get addicted to fairy 
dust.  He'll wreck hotel rooms.  Crash his Firebolt Mk V into a 
whomping willow.  Hermione and Ron will have to stage an 
intervention.  Ultimately, because of his importance, he'll be 
offered a sinecure at the MoM division of sports where he'll spend 
his days rehashing the past with Quidditch stars who are famous 
enough to appreciate his experience, until some sweet young thing 
half his age lassos him into a posh wedding.

Once the first baby is born, HP will invite Ron and Hermione over to 
visit; the old gang-of-three friendship will be reborn now that 
everybody has grown up and settled down.  But the young thing will be 
jealous of the past and whip Harry into staying away from his old 
buddies.  For a while.  But then Harry will get fed up with it, file 
for divorce, and lead the life of the single celebrity in retirement.

The end.

*******

Or not.  That's just my version of the "Human, all too Human" 
epilogue...  :-)

marvin