[HPforGrownups] Defensiveness

[Kathleen Kelly MacMillan]

No: HPFGUIDX 10587

Penny wrote:
>>I always get the impression that it's
>shocking &
>> bordering on sacrilege to even "suggest" that there might be the
>slightest
>> possibility that Hermione doesn't like Ron back (or that they might
>not last if
>> they do get together).  Is this just a misimpression on my part?
>(honestly
>> curious ...)

Well, Penny, I always get the impression that it's shocking and bordering on 
sacrilege to suggest that Hermione could possibly end up with anyone less than 
Harry (and since my feelings about Ron are probably pretty clear at this 
point, you know why I have more than one problem with that idea).  But I think 
kimberly makes a very good point:  both sides seem defensive to the other.  As 
someone who started out as a (half-hearted) H/H shipper before being converted 
to the One True Faith <g>, I can vouch for that:  I saw the defensiveness in 
R/H posts then and I see it in H/H now. Just the nature of the beast I guess.

And kimberly wrote:
>There might be something to what you're saying.  Kathy mentioned that
>some R/Hers tell her they're uncomfortable posting here because the
>atmosphere seems against it.  I have heard the same.  Maybe they
>perceive that they have something to defend themselves against if
>they post about it?  I'm not saying that anyone has gone out of their
>way to make them feel that way, or even realized it was happening,
>and I may well have misinterpreted it completely and nobody feels
>that way.  I'm just trying to give my honest view of what I think I'm
>observing.  Please, by all means R/Hers - correct me if I'm wrong!

No, I think you've got it, at least as far as I can tell.  (Like I said 
before, I obviously don't feel the reluctance to post that most R/Hers seem 
too, since H/H-baiting is one of my favorite hobbies!).  But the impression I 
get is that some people feel that this list is overwhelmingly H/H and that 
their comments will just be ignored.  Of course, we all know that part of the 
solution would be for R/H-ERS TO POST MORE!  (turns and barks at her crew, who 
are all looking shamedly at the deck)  No, seriously, I think a big part of it 
is that we have...how many members now?  It takes awhile to get up to speed 
and it's hard for new people to just feel like they can jump right in.  It can 
be intimidating.  I remember feeling that way myself when I first joined this 
group...in fact, I was just telling a Reluctant R/H Poster (there's another 
syndrome for you, Ebony!)  that the moment I first truly felt welcome here was 
when I really ticked off Penny with my "H/H and Why It's Just Wrong" treatise 
last summer (grins at Penny, then ducks to avoid the several-inch thick 
printout of PoU Penny lobs at her head).  All I am saying is that this group 
can be intimidating.  I don't think anyone does it on purpose, and I don't 
know what the solution is (except maybe for R/HERS TO POST MORE!).

kimberly:
>or maybe it's the terminology that has been
>tossed around (disorders, destroyers, etc.).  I'm quite happy myself
>that you've been steering away from them, because down here floating
>without a ship in the waters of ambiguous anticipation it's kinda
>scary to see two big ships face of in battle terms.

Awww, now look, we've scared the no-shippers.  That's not right.  I think the 
SS H/H and the Good Ship R/H need to sign an armistice right away.  Think of 
all the poor innocents down there in their inner tubes who could get hurt!

kimberly:
>I hope I'm not stepping on any toes - I don't mean to speak for one
>side or offend the other side, I just wanted to bring some things out
>in the open.

And I thank you for that, as you said it much better than I did in my original 
post.

And don't worry, everybody.  Even if the H/H and R/H do fire on each other 
sometimes, rest assured it's just friendly fire.  :)

Kathy
AKA Captain Elanor
who is probably starting to develop delusions of grandeur