The Trio and the nature of love

[moongirlk at yahoo.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 10925

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "Jim Ferer" <jferer at y...> wrote:
> We've been debating relationship preferences for a while and the 
> significance of events like The Kiss or Ron and Hermione's 
squabbles, 
> but we all ignore the fact the three love each other already.
> 
> In our society we don't talk about love amongst friends, and we 
> certainly don't talk about males loving each other unless we're 
> writing slash fic, but it's real. the bond between Harry, Hermione, 
> and Ron is so strong that an outside mate might have trouble 
> understanding it.
> 

Oh cap'n my cap'n, I salute you!  I agree 100% with this - we can 
have great fun talking about love (eros) between characters, but the 
thing that makes the books so compelling and so special to me is the 
love (philia) that the trio share.  That is what drives me back to 
the books again and again. Can you imagine what Harry would have 
become if he'd stayed with the Dursleys year after year until he hit 
legal adulthood and they kicked him out?  It's the love (philia) of 
his friends and the love (caritas) of his teachers/mentors and the 
love (storge? - can't quite remember the word) of Sirius and of 
his 'adoptive' family - Molly and Arthur that have changed his life 
so thoroughly and hooked me completely.  

> This could be the ultimate no-shipper's argument. Anybody they 
might 
> meet might seem to pale compared to the friend they saved the 
universe 
> with.  What happens when the intimate bond comes before the 
romantic 
> attraction? Hermione was preparing Harry to fight for his life 
before 
> she had a chance to see him as a potential mate. They've all been 
> through intense experiences together. I put words in Hermione's 
mouth 
> once: "we never had the time." Will this apply to Ron and Hermione? 
> Maybe not, but they grew up together too.

That may be true - we may never get to see these characters enter 
into romantic relationships.  But JKR has a gift - there are lots of 
books with great adventures, and there are lots of books with great 
romances, but there are not a lot of books that portray strong, 
flawed, loyal, insecure, REAL friendships and also take you on a 
great adventure.  So if she manages to also wow me with romance, I'll 
be thrilled, and if she manages to allow happy-ever-after scenarios 
in the end, I'll be extatic, but honestly, at this point, if she did 
neither of the above, I'd still be satisfied, simply with the great 
characters she's created and the wonderful interactions she's given 
them.


> 
> The shipper debates will never end. Hopefully they'll stay in the 
> lighthearted vein they are now. JKR's got a lot more to say about 
> friendship; let's not forget it either.

Thanks for reminding me.  I think I really like my new home!
peace,
kimberly