H/H Dull & R/H Loads of Fun? (contrarian view)

[moongirlk at yahoo.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 11070

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., Penny & Bryce Linsenmayer <pennylin at s...> 
wrote:
> Hi --
> 
> Kelley wrote:
> 
> > Agree again on both counts.  I had always thought of Ron and Herm 
as
> > a balance for Harry, but the triangle analogy is spot on.  And I 
feel
> > exactly the same Kathy, R/H has much more 'fun'-potential than H/H 
to
> > me.  I know, H/H-ers, I know, that doesn't counter 'H/H are more
> > suited in the real world' etc., but come on, be honest:  doesn't 
H/H
> > just seem a tad dull?
> 
> Well .... since you asked my opinion:  No!  I don't see H/H as dull 
at
> all.
> 
> But, I also don't see R/H as being necessarily all fun at all.  See 
....
> I don't regard bickering & spatting as fun (or an aphrodisiac!).  
I've
> had relationships in the past that were all bickering (or worse!), 
and
> it was emotionally exhausting to me.  I find it to be absolutely
> positively zero fun to be picking at each other constantly.  So, 
that
> just goes to my perception about how a good relationship works.  I
> acknowledge that this modus operandi works for others.  But, it sure
> wouldn't have worked for me.  I can count on both hands the number 
of
> fights my husband & I've had in over 10 years of knowing one 
another.
> That style of relationship is just more my cup of tea so the whole 
idea
> of R/H is lost on me from the beginning, if for no other reason than 
I
> can't fathom bickering and fighting constantly as a foundation for a
> solid, compatible relationship.  I identify so strongly with 
Hermione
> that I also have a hard time picturing *her* wanting that either.
> That's a big part of my mental block against R/H.
> 
> > I saw  R/H from canon, before I ever even found this group.  When 
I
> > first learned of the H/H-ers, and how so many of them felt this 
way
> > from
> > canon (before seeing PoU), I could not figure out where they got 
it
> > from.
> 
> That's funny -- there are tons of us H/H'ers who have talked to 
people
> who stare blankly and say, "There are really people who think Ron &
> Hermione will end up together?  Nah, that's too obvious.  The 
subtext is
> all there for H/H."
> 
> All a matter of perception I guess -- eh?  <vbg>

I think it must be. ;)

It's funny because I think H/G would be really interesting because of 
the early relationship - there would be so much to resolve in order 
for it to work.  Harry would have to wonder if Ginny's feelings had 
matured past her original awe of him, and Ginny would have to work 
through the same thing.  The real thing is never quite like the ideal 
we imagined if we've had a crush on someone for any lenght of time.  
All of these things make it so intriguing to me that I'd like to see 
it explored.  At the same time the few times we've seen real glimpses 
of Ginny's character, she's been very caring, and very concerned with 
people's feelings.  I think she has the potential to be a strong, 
supportive partner in a relationship.  Hermione, I think, is sensitive 
to Harry's feelings, and cares a lot, but she's quite straightforward 
about it and rather blunt.  I think Harry's gun shy emotionally as a 
result of having grown up in an environment where nobody cared how he 
felt.  A soft touch like Ginny (comforting Ron without teasing, 
standing up in a quiet but firm way for Neville), would be easier for 
Harry to share the deep-down stuff with without feeling pressured. (in 
my perception, of course :))

And Ron/Hermione seem like fun to me because neither of them *do* 
bottle things up - they are both very up-front with their emotions, 
and, while volatile, I think it is healthy.  When a point of 
contention comes up, having a wild row, getting it all out, and then 
getting over it and moving on to work together toward a common goal is 
not a bad thing if that is in your nature, and it seems to be so for 
both of them.  

I guess also part of the fun of it for me is that I love a good 
romantic comedy.  When I read a scene of Ron and Hermione bickering, I 
grin because it takes me back to Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable in 
It Happened One Night, or for those of you who aren't into the oldies 
but goodies, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail (a weaker 
example, but the first one I could think of that lots of people may 
have seen).  The bickering, to me, shows the boiling up of their 
feelings for one another.  They're still not quite capable of dealing 
with the deeper issues of their feelings for each other, so it comes 
out as something simpler, more basic.  It's a classic representation 
of budding romance in modern film and fiction, and one that I enjoy.

So yes, I'd say it's all a matter of perception.  Nobody's right or 
wrong until JKR says so, and if we're talking about what we'd like to 
see instead of what we think will happen, then nobody's wrong, ever.  
Unless, of course, they want to match up Ron and Aragog or something - 
that's just cruel!  It would be such a bore if everyone thought the 
same way, wouldn't it? :D

kimberly