[HPforGrownups] No need to get shippy about it...

[morine10 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 11168

Captain Kathy:
> I have been trying to find a book I read right after I got married that 
> postulated that there are 3 basic kinds of marriages: "Calm" (not the word 
> the 
> author used, but that was basically what he/she meant); "Volatile" (that I 
> remember exactly); and "Dysfunctional".  This author's position was that 
> only 
> the third type was unhappy.  In the Calm type, the partners do just about 
> anything to achieve consensus and very often are uncomfortable with 
> conflict.  
> In the Volatile type, the partners often fight and scream at one another, 
> but 
> then move on.  In the Dysfunctional type, the screaming and fighting is 
> about 
> sabotaging each other, not getting things out ing the open.  I remember 
> this 
> well because my husband and I most definitaly fall into the second category 
> and I felt it wasn't "right" somehow until I read that and realized that it 
> works for us.  People in the first type would probably not feel comfortable 
> with that, but that's okay.  Anyway, the point here is that R/H would 
> definitely be the second type.  Maybe that's why it appeals to me.
> 

This is great.  My husband and I fall into the Volatile category.  This could 
pinpoint the difference between many R/H-ers and H/H-ers.  I remember several 
H/H-ers (can't remember who specifically) saying that they don't bicker with 
their significant other and they wouldn't look for that in a relationship.  I 
for one would not want a completely Calm relationship.  

-Mo

"Well," he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, "well -- that just proves -- 
completely missed the point--."  - Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Goblet 
of Fire


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