Jump This Way (Filk)

[Amber]

No: HPFGUIDX 20030


WARNING: I am *not* normally a filker. Never written a filk in my life,
so try to ignore the rhyme and meter inconsistencies. But what can I
say, I was inspired by Caius! <grin> And this song cried to be done.
Although, I must say, the concept was already done by Caius in message
15797 (the filk "Threes"). He is the Filk-meister Supreme!

Sung to the song "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith

Dedicated to Caius Marcius (because he's cool and deserves it, darnit!)

[In Moody's classroom. Moody is teaching about the Unforgivable Curses]

Moody:
Since you're behind on the Curses and ahead on the Creatures,
We'll talk Unforgivables.
Now there're three types of spells that will give you the chills
And all unimaginable.
There's the Cruciatus, the Avada Kedavra,
Which I have already reminisced.
So it'll be the Imperius that'll pull you forward
And make you do silly things with a twist
Like this!

[Moody casts spell on Dean Thomas, Lavender Brown, and Neville
Longbottom during the ultra-cool guitar solo]

Moody:
Look at their antics, see them do things they oughtn't
Don't you feel your chest tighten with hate?
Mister Thomas hopped and sang, Miss Brown acted like a squirrel
And Mister Longbottom a gymnast great
Potter it's your turn, let's see you writhe and squirm
And jump on the desk with glee
Let me cast the spell, you surely won't feel a thing
You won't be able to run and flee
When I tell you to

Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.

Like this!

[Moody casts spell and Harry fights it...again during cool guitar solo]

Moody:
Hey that's more like it, just look at him fighting
The commands that I give to him
All of you should be trying what Potter is attempting
Try to overcome the Curse and win
But you didn't do it right, bumped your knees on the desk
Almost fractured both your legs amiss
So we'll try it again until you can defeat this Curse
Just try to ignore that happy mist
Like this

[Moody casts spell on Harry four more times during...aw, forget it, you
know the drill]

Harry:
My legs are a'shaking and my legs are a'quaking
But I've finally overcome this Curse
It took five times casting, and five times hitting
The damn desk 'til I could reverse
And while I hurt I realize with relief
That Voldemort won't ever command me
Thanks to Moody I'll be ready when he comes
Which he will 'cause my name is Harry!
Moody told me to

Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.
Jump this way.

[Entire class boogies down as Moody conjures a guitar and starts
jammin']

~Amber
(What can I say...I love Rock 'n' Roll!)


=====
http://www.the-tabula-rasa.com
Just another crappy homepage...updated 6/2/2001

" 'I think it was a bit of an overreaction,' said the serpent. 'I mean, first offense and everything. I can't see what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil, anyway.' "
 - N. Gaiman and T. Prachett, "Good Omens"

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