Pretty Fly (for that Snape Guy) [filk]

[Mags]

No: HPFGUIDX 20122

Snape Lovers, this is for you!

Pretty Fly (for that Snape Guy)
(to the tune of 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy' by The Offspring)

Scene: The Potions Dungeon. Snape is sitting behind his desk, whilst 
the Griffindor fourth-years cower behind their cauldrons.  The Fat 
Lady and the Pale Witch appear suddenly in one of the wall posters, 
giggling. The Fat Lady is clutching an empty box of chocolate 
liquers, and hiccupping.)

Intro

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

(Nearly Headless Nick drifts in through the blackboard)

Nick: And all the ghoulies say he's pretty fly

Fat Lady and Pale Witch: For that Snape guy.

(Neville accidently drops his wand into his cauldron. A loud guitar 
riff begins to boom out from it. Harry jumps up onto his desk)

Verse 1

Harry: You know it's kinda hard
To get Potions right today
This subject isn't cool
But he'll teach it anyway.

Seamus: He may not have a clue
And he may not have style

Hermione: But no one in the whole wide world
Has ever seen him smile!

Chorus

All: So don't debate
With Professor Snape
Cos you know he really doesn't get it anyway
He'll make Potions hell
Until we hear that bell
And then we'll run away, run away

Harry: Whenever we see Snape
Our hearts are filled with hate

Ron: And all we really wanna do is
Push him in the lake

Hermione: The world needs Potions teachers
Come on and do the Potions thing!

Bridge

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

Fat Lady: Give it to me Snapey!

Pale Witch: Uh-huh, Uh-huh!

Nick: Uno dos tres, cuatro cinco cinco seis!

Verse 2

Parvati: He needs to cut his hair
But a quick trim would suffice

Lavendar: He even made me cry once
Cos he's just not very nice

Dean: He makes us work too hard
And we all wish he'd retire

Neville: Can someone please help me?
Cos I think my hat's on fire!

Chorus

(as before)

Verse 3

Harry: Now he wants to teach Dark Arts
Cos he thinks it could be fun.

Hermione: He applied at thirteen
But now he's thirty one!

Ron: Some say he's not so bad
And he's just a moody git,
But if you ask me
Snape's a little piece of -

Hermione: Ron!

Chorus

All: So don't debate
With Professor Snape
Cos you know he really doesn't get it anyway
He'll make Potions hell
Until we hear that bell
And then we'll run away, run away

Harry: And those who don't hate him
Belong in Slytherin.

Ron: Cos the rest of us just wanna
Kick him in the shins.

Hermione: The world needs Potions teachers
Hey, hey, do the Potions thing!