SHIPPING of Love and War

[bbennett at joymail.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 20913

Ab's Goat wrote:

<A number of shipping posts have recently pointed out that a lot of 
bickering may be great for a torrid romance but not for life-long 
companionship. For the record, I agree. >

I don't think this is an agree or disagree situation – I
don't remember reading a post from anyone who has said a 
relationship will only work if you have bickering or conflict. This 
simply depends on the personalities involved (as many here have 
mentioned as well). I know people who were good friends, fell in 
love, and after many years and nary an argument are happily married 
and still tremendously in love. I also have friends who bicker a lot, 
have less in common temperament-wise, and are more in love after ten 
years of marriage than when they first went to the alter. It's
not fair to a lot of wonderful relationships to say that one in which 
there is no arguing is better than one in which there are 
disagreements. Although I think most of us would say that of course 
we'd prefer to be in a relationship where there is no arguing,
how much we bicker in a relationship may just depend on whom we fall 
in love with. And honestly, bickering/debate is a hobby to some the 
way gardening is to others.

That said, I don't take objection to a H/H relationship because I 
think a lack of conflict = a lack of sparks;  I  simply disagree that 
they are attracted to each other (I understand the discussions and 
respect the opinions of those who see that Hermione has an underlying 
attraction for Harry; I don't). Ron and Hermione do argue a lot,
but as David theorized in his excellent post (20724), the heart of 
much of their conflict seems to be over basic respect (and 
misunderstandings of that respect) for each other. As David also 
mentioned, when it comes right down to it, Hermione and Ron obviously 
rate each other very highly (again, see post 20724 – I can't
state it better). These basic misunderstandings are likely to be 
worked out as they come to understand each other better/grow up. And 
even if they continue to bicker, it doesn't mean they can't
have a lasting and successful relationship. 

As a side note on the "bickering as a hobby" comment, I see
Hermione as someone who enjoys the challenge of a good disagreement. 
Ron is more than willing to go to bat and argue the opposing 
viewpoint; Harry is more inclined to disagree privately and go on. 
Not that this means there is a spark with one that can never be with 
the other, it's just that Hermione might disagree with the theory
that because Ron argues back he's bad for her.

Best,
B