I Don't Know How To Kill Him (filk)

[Elena Maestri]

No: HPFGUIDX 20984

I Don't Know How To Kill Him (from GoF, Chap. 1)

(To the tune of I Don't Know How To Love Him, from Jesus Christ Superstar)


THE SCENE:  in the Riddle House, on the armchair by the fire, Lord Voldemort
is plotting his scheme to return to power and finally kill Harry Potter.


VOLDEMORT

I don¹t know how to kill him!
What to do to destroy him?
I have failed, yes, thrice I failed
Thirteen years ago, nearly killed myself,
I changed to something elseŠ

I don't know how it happened,
I don't see why he lives still.
He¹s a kid, a wizard kid!
And I¹ve killed so many of them before,
in very many ways:
he¹s just one more!

Should I use Cruciatus?
Or the Killing Curse?
Should I call Nagini,
let her eat him raw?
I never thought I'd come to this.
Damn this Potter guy!

I don¹t think it¹s very funny,
I should be in this position.
I¹m the One, who¹s always been
so mean, so cruel, so ³You-Know-Who²,
harming everyone:
he annoys me so!

(Lord Voldemort stops for a moment because he is very annoyed! In the
meantime he schemes)

I never thought I'd come to this.
Damn this Potter guy!

But, now I have a good plan:
Hogwarts hosts one Death Eater!
With his help, Harry will be mine:
he¹ll win the Cup, I¹ll get him then,
I¹ll use his very blood
for my return.
This time is right:
I¹ll kill him so!!!

(Calls Wormtail and begins the planning..)


Elena