Goodness Gracious, Goblet of Fire (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 21244

Goodness Gracious, Goblet of Fire (GoF, Chap 16 & 17)

(To the tune of Great Balls of Fire)

Dedicated to Indigo (great job on the Hedwig filk!)

THE SCENE: The Great Hall. DUMBLEDORE is presiding over the 
ceremonial selection of the Three Tri-Wizard champions. All of 
Hogwarts in is attendance, along with visitors from Durmstrang and 
Beauxbatons. 
 
DUMBLEDORE (to the Goblet)
You picked our champs, and they are lookin' rum 
It's Cedric, Delacour and Viktor Krum
We'll see great feats when they compete
Goodness Gracious, Goblet of Fire!

(During the second verse, the Goblet unexpectedly re-ignites, and 
ejects a fourth roll of parchment, which Dumbledore intercepts)

Give all of your applause now to our three Tri-Wiz
Oops, the Goblet's givin' out more blazin' fizz
It's getting hotter – it says H. Potter???

DUMBLEDORE & CHORUS 
Goodness Gracious, Goblet of Fire!

HARRY
You stun me, goblet, woo
..it feels bad
Hold on, Goblet, it's the most stupendous shock I ever had
You've surmised I'm surprised

ALL (except Gryffindor students, Moody, and Dumbledore)
You're a stinkin' fraud and you're lyin' lyin' lyin'!

HARRY (making his way forward)
I chew my nails, I'm shakin' in my shoes
I'm really panicked and I ain't amused
Come on goblet, don't wanna squabble-it
Goodness gracious, I've raised some ire!

KARKAROFF & MADAME MAXINE
Exclude him, Albus, woo-ooo..that'd be right
Hold off, Albus, we can't have small boys competing in this fight
We  say "NO WAY!" 
Both of our schools will take flight flight flight

MOODY
I'm stompin' on my peg leg and I swivel my eye
Some dark wizard's plannin' to see Potter die
That's why his name emerged from flame
Goodness gracious, his straits are dire!

MOODY/HARRY
I say goodness gracious,  his/my straits are dire...oooh...

   - CMC (amused by the image of Dumbledore dancing around like Jerry 
Lee Lewis)