Jumbled thoughts on how Harry could have killed Sirius

[catherine at cator-manor.demon.co.uk]

No: HPFGUIDX 21457

Joy's post on Harry being unable to kill Sirius due to his innate 
morality really made me think (excellent post!).  

I have often wondered how Harry was going to kill Sirius.  The 
conclusion I came to, was that Harry has on occassions, let his 
emotions get the better of him and performed uncontrolled magic - the 
blowing up of Marge is an excellent example of this.  Would it 
therefore be a natural progression to assume that Harry's anger over 
Sirius' alleged betrayal of his parents is an anger which is a huge 
magnification of his anger at Aunt Marge?  If he can blow up his aunt 
as a result of his anger, is it possible that his anger during this 
scene, which must be much stronger, could allow him to kill someone, 
without knowing exactly how to do so?  The fact that he is holding 
his wand could serve him to channel his anger, thereby making his 
actions more effective.  

I think there is a moment there when it would have been possible.  
The difference between this scene and the one with Aunt Marge, is 
that (as Joy says) Harry knows that the ramifications of what he is 
doing are much further reaching, which gives him pause for thought.  
Crookshanks' involvement also hinders him - this delay forces him to 
control his anger, therefore stopping him from acting on it.

I did initially think that the two incidents above were materially 
different, as with Aunt Marge it was a very hotheaded emotional 
reaction, whereas with Sirius it was a very cold fury which had been 
allowed to fester over a period of time.  Now, however, I think that 
they are more similar than I thought - Harry's anger at Aunt Marge 
was a culmination of years of abuse - the one week we see at the 
beginning of PoA could be seen as a microcosm of the whole of her 
treatment of him over the past years.  Harry, until this point had 
reined in his anger - controls it until the memory of his parents are 
abused which is when he loses control.  With Sirius, Harry has had 
time to dwell on his alleged betrayal of his parents, and seeing 
Sirius in the flesh has the effect of bringing his long-felt anger to 
the fore.

What also interests me is the fact that on the few occassions that 
Harry does lose his temper, it is generally because of his parents.  
Aunt Marge, Sirius, Snape.  

Sorry about the confusion.  I should perhaps have waited until my 
thoughts were clearer and easier to express, but I suppose that this 
way there may be more reaction!

Catherine