Let's Go Float an Aunt (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 14328

Let's Go Float an Aunt (from PoA, Ch. 2)

(To the tune of Let's Go Fly A Kite, from Mary Poppins)

Dedicated to Pippin

(The Scene: Privet Drive. HARRY is having dinner with the Dursleys, 
including his gruesome Aunt Marge. He is growing increasingly restive 
under her insults) 

AUNT MARGE (holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on 
HARRY.) Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go 
and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect)--"

HARRY (music)
When Aunt Marge calls me a disgrace
That's the sort of thing I can face
If she calls me a slime, I hear that all the time
But if she slurs Mom and Dad – well, now, that makes me mad.

It's time to float Aunt Marge
Blow her up round and large
Let's make it seem that Marge came here from Goodyear
Since Dad she would berate
It's time to Aunt-inflate
That's why I'm floating Marge

Uncle Vern warned me to be nice
To get my slip signed was his price
And I could get expelled if I cast one more spell
But she slandered my Mom – so I'm dropping the bomb

It's time to float Aunt Marge
Expand her free of charge
Though it's not original to leave Marge a dirigible
Can't help to bring her down
Right now I'm leaving town
Bye, Dursleys  - and Aunt Marge!

(Exit)


    - CMC