The Only Established (filk)

[linman6868 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 14491

(No actual lyrics were harmed in the making of this filk--I hope!  li)

"The Only Established"
["The Oldest Established" from GUYS AND DOLLS]

Empty classroom.  Enter Harry, pulled in by Fred and George.

Fred [spoken]: Harry, you've got to get down to Hogsmeade.

George:  The village is up to here with Hogwarts students.

Harry:  I know! I know! But how do I get out of the castle?

F: [sings] They're requiring a note from the lad--
G:  But poor lad, there's no note to be had--
H:  And they've now got dementors at the door--
F&G:  So he can't get out that way anymore!
F:  There was a chance he could go without a note--
G:  But Professor McGonagall ain't a good scout--
H:  And things being how they are,
     A cachet from Severus is OUT!
     So it looks like I'm back to square one...
F&G:  But hold on Harry, you're not quite done!

[F taps the Marauder's Map]

F&G:  Why it's good old reliable Moony,
      Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs!
      If you're looking for mischief,
      Well, X marks the spot!
      Even when the heat is on
      It's never too hot--NOT
      For good old reliable Moony--
      You will never have to be bored;
      It's the Only Established Mischievous Knowing Map from Filch's 
Drawer!

      There are well-trod pathways everywhere,
      everywhere, there are well-trod pathways everywhere...
      And a chance to spot a teacher
      Or an ill-intentioned peacher--there...

H:    (If I only had this lovely little map
      I could vanish in thin air!)

F&G:  Yes! it's good old reliable Moony,
      Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs!
      If your candy and joke stash
      You want to increase,
      They'll arrange that you get there 
      in quiet and peace--
      Through a passage provided by Moony,
      Known by only us and these Four!
      It's the Only Established, Mischievous, Knowing--shh!
                                      *-Map from Filch's Drawer-*

H:    Where's the passage?
F&G:  Out this room!
H:    (Gotta leave this room or I'll die from gloom)

All:  It's the Only Established, Mischievous Knowing Map from Filch's 
Dra-a-a-a-aaaawer!

F: [spoken] Bye, Harry!
G:  Yeah, see you in Hogsmeade!