Brand-New Skrewts (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 18660

Brand-New Skrewt (from GoF, Chap. 13)

Dedicated to Angela Boyko

(To the tune of Brand-New Key)

(The Scene: Hagrid's cabin. He begins his first class of the year in 
a state of great excitement)

HAGRID
I thought at breeding creatures I'd take a stab
I crossed a manticore with a fire crab
The offspring they made you will find in this crate
Let's rush to open it, oh I just can't wait

`Cause I've got a brand-new herd of baby Skrewts
They're a brand-new species
As you can see, everyone of them's a beaut
They're pretty as you please
They don't seem to have mouthparts
We don't know if they'll eat
But we'll raise a herd of cuddly baby Skrewts
It will be really neat

HARRY, RON & HERMIONE
Good thing for Hagrid that we all love him so 
Otherwise his Skrewts we'd put six feet below
He seems to think that Skrewts are a real blast
But every time we see them we all feel aghast

`Cause he's got a brand-new herd of growing Skrewts
They're like a grim disease
Hagrid seems to think that they're all so cute
But they put us at unease
They lacerate and they burn us
Their odor is all too acute 
But until we're rid of Hagrid's brand-new pets
All three of us are *Skrewt*

      - CMC