Can He Steal the Stone Tonight? (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 19269

Can He Steal the Stone Tonight? (from PS/SS)

(To the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight?,  from The Lion King) 

(THE SCENE: Before Hogwarts' Castle. Enter HARRY, RON, HERMIONE)

HARRY: Nick Flamel is a wizard who
. 
RON: Huh?
HARRY: Controls a certain stone
.. 
RON: Oh
HARRY: And with its power it seems your funeral 
You may indefinitely postpone
RON: Cool!

HARRY, RON & HERMIONE
One may become immortal
With this Stone in one's stock
But we think Severus Snape would love to own
A piece of this grand rock

Can he steal the stone tonight?
What's Snape got up his sleeve?
Hagrid says to trust the guy
We think he's been deceived 

RON
We know that Snape is clever,
Resourceful and tough, he
Is going to find that it's impossible 
To tiptoe past Fluffy

HERMIONE
If Snape wins life eternal
It's a dreadful impasse
Our great-great-great-great granddaughter's kids 
Must attend his potions class

(Enter SNAPE and QUIRRELL)

SNAPE (to himself)
I won't steal the stone tonight
I'm allied with Dumbledore 
The potions I've thrown in the maze
Won't let thieves through that door

QUIRRELL (to himself)
I won't steal the stone tonight
For now I'll bide my time
Lord Voldemort has got my back
I'll restore him to his prime.

ALL
And if the stone is swiped tonight
It can be assumed
Our epic saga will last one volume
Our narrative thread is doomed.

  - CMC