Bring Me the Toad (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 27411

Bring Me the Toad (From PoA, Chap. 7)

(To the tune of King of the Road)

Dedicated to Amy Z

THE SCENE: Potions Class.  SNAPE, once again out of patience with 
NEVILLE, threatens Trevor with grave bodily harm

SNAPE
Failure he represents
Brain power of one percent
Neville's a total squib
The answers from Granger cribs
And that
 orange potion make me stewed 
So it will be used as Trevor food
I'm a man who's mean by all means
Bring me the toad

NEVILLE
Reached the end of my wits
Concentration
..blown to bits
Cold shivers down my spine
Self-esteem is so supine
I can't be rid of that orange smoke
Poor old Trevor's gonna croak
Snape says "Make it green or your seein'
Me kill your toad."

HERMIONE (whispering, to NEVILLE)
I know ev'ry ingredient for all of these brews
And just how much rat spleen and how much leech juice.
That Sev'rus Snape wants to play "Weakest Link", 
So I'll do all I can to get your potion in sync.

SNAPE
I think:
Travailin' will arrive
Don't deem Trevor can revive
His chances look remote
Once this stuff's down his throat
Ah, but
he's turned to a tadpole
..
Time to lose some self-control
You will pay for your arrangin', Granger:
Five points unload!

   - CMC

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