Advice For A Dark Lord

[Rowena Grunnion-Ffitch]

No: HPFGUIDX 27609

   "Voldy, put down the wand and listen to me...that's
better. Okay my first piece of advice is Stop Trying
To Get Harry Potter. Yes, yes, I know it's hard for
the world's top Dark Wizard to accept he's had his
butt kicked three times in a row by an undersized
adolescent with a scar on his forehead but one must
face facts. Trust me, put Harry on your 'Best Avoided'
list right under Albus Dumbledore.
   "Your next step should be a good refresher course
in basic wizardry - yes, I know you have loads of
weird esoteric dark knowledge but, Voldy, you keep
forgetting the basics! Little things like motherlove
being a potent counterspell, Phoenix tears healing,
etc. Is there such a thing as a memory strengthening
spell? I'll ask Wormtail.
   "Speaking of whom, I know how much fun it is to
indulge one's sadistic urges but trust me, Voldy,
abusing the help never pays. The number of Dark Lords
who've been done in by disaffected underlings - Yes of
course you can punish incompetence but *do* try not to
get carried away.
   "And speaking of incompetence I'd suggest some
marksmanship practice for the Death Eaters, their
performance in the graveyard was pretty darn pitiful
wasn't it?
   Yes, thank you, I think that's all for the moment -
Whoops! you might want to work on your aim too, Voldy.
Now don't be cross, somebody has to tell you these
things - unless you'd rather lose?

(Inspired by reading the infamous "Things I'd Do If I
Became An Evil Overlord" list at
"http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html")
    
   

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