[HPforGrownups] Father figures revisited

[MeriLeslie26 at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 27619

In a message dated 10/13/2001 9:38:52 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
editor at texas.net writes:


> Here was the one I got flak for, and would like thoughts on the most:
> Snape. Father figure, mostly the negative connotations. The aspect of
> father that you rebel against, the one who sets curfews, who doesn't
> listen, who just doesn't understand, who doesn't even want to, the one
> you come to appreciate only much, much later. Resented, but respected.
> This is the sort of relationship where a bond grows, but when (sometimes
> if) discovered, comes as a surprise, even a shock.
> 
> I thought that Harry has nicely covered all the aspects of father in
> these characters, and by separating the different paternal functions
> like that, is free to have stronger associations with these men--he's
> not resenting one man one day, loving that same man the next--the
> reactions to each aspect are separated; they are different men.

My response:

I think that you are absolutely correct.  I think, for most of us, thinking 
back on our fathers gives us a nice loving squishy feeling.  I can only speak 
for myself, and as a woman at that, but I absolutely love and respect my 
father and can't remember a time when I didn't.  Feelings of resentment and 
disrespect have been almost erased with the passage of time.

In talking with a friend of mine years ago, he told me that men "find 
themselves" through first rebelling against their father figure.  Through 
this rebelling against their fathers, they end up coming to a deeper 
understanding of manhood and fatherhood.  This journey also give them a more 
fuller appreciation for who their father is/was/will be, and who they are and 
who they want to become.  I don't think I have the words to express what I 
want to, so if there is a man out there who can make a little more sense of 
this... Please do.

To bring this back to Harry, it will be interesting to see what happens with 
his relationship with Snape.  As stated above, Snape represents the father or 
part of our father that we don't agree with... those rules, sentiments, 
lifestyle, point of view, personality, whatever.  In GoF, though, we got a 
glimpse of a different Snape.  As awful as he is, as beaten in some respects 
or jaded, we see a glimpse of courage and honor that we previously could not 
conceive.  Maybe this is a turning point in Harry's relationship with this 
father figure.  Will he begin to see him in a different light?  As a person 
who might deserve some respect?  We not always agree with a person to respect 
them.  I think there is some indication of that in the ending of GoF during 
the feast.

I will have to think more on this, though.  There are some interesting 
implications here.

Leslie


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