Dudley vs Draco

[jenny from ravenclaw]

No: HPFGUIDX 27981

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., tillrules at a... wrote:

Wow.  I couldn't disagree more.
 
>For example, Dudley is portrayed as a bully, not only of Harry, but 
other kids with his gang...   
> its not only Mr. Dursley's dislike of Harry which causes the 
bullying, its something in Dudley whih makes him dislike Harry.>

Dudley learned at home that it was okay to treat others badly.  Dudley 
is spoiled to the point that he clearly does not know right from 
wrong.  What he has learned is that if he cries loud enough or hits 
hard enough he will get what he wants.  JKR has made it very clear to 
us that he learned these things from his parents, who are themselves 
materialistic, impatient, and narrow minded.  Uncle Vernon is vicious 
to Harry; Dudley has been seeing that since they were both babies.  
Every single behavior Dudley displays has been learned at home.

On Draco:
 
>He's out of the house in a place where his father holds very little 
sway, b/c of Lucius's relationship with Dumbledore, and he does not 
change.  He has the opportunity to learn new things and interact with 
others in a way that could overcome whatever racism he learned at 
home.  But this is not the case.  He goes out of his way to stay the 
way he is.  
> 
Draco is very clearly proud of his father and his ability to affect 
things as a powerful figure and brags about it a number of times.  In 
fact, he contacts his father a number of times in the canon to tell 
him of events happening in the school so his father can act on them 
(the blast eared skrewts, for example or Buckbeak).     In addition, 
in a conversation with Harry,  which has no way of returning to his 
father, Draco is elated at the return of Voldemort.  This is not a kid 
who is doing things to impress his father or to forestall his father's 
wrath.  He's simply a bad kid.>

How is it possible that Draco is "simply a bad kid" without any input 
from his parents?  I think the same arguments apply to Draco.  His 
father gives him what he wants and is a DE who flaunts it at home.  He 
is TEACHING hate to his son.  Draco has learned that living the good 
life is living the mean life.  I don't see Draco as going "out of his 
way to stay the way he is", I see him as depending on his father for 
all the answers.  Dad likes it that way, too.  

However, I don't see Draco or Dudley, for that matter, as just bad 
kids.  I see them both as victims of the parents who are raising them.  
Dudley is as abused as Harry; overindulgence can be just as damaging 
as neglect.  Draco's father is not teaching his son to stand on his 
own.  Both of these boys have had little choice so far in their lives 
because they have yet to be in situations (like Harry) where they can 
really question how they were raised and if their parents were doing 
the right and good thing in raising them.

I think it's admirable that you learned at a young age to not follow 
your parents' view on race.  Most children, unfortunately, do not take 
a step back and do what you did.  Kids whose parents hit them or each 
other grow up to hit their own kids or be in abusive relationships 
themselves.  The statistics are sadly overwhelming.

Draco and Dudley may eventually have changes of heart, but they are 
now quite young and blissfully happy in their situations.  They both 
believe they are well loved by their parents because they are 
mistaking their material rewards for love.  That's a pretty big lure 
(I've been there; I know).  Something drastic will have to happen for 
either of them to see their parents for who they really are.

--jenny from ravenclaw, who thinks our parents have EVERYTHING to do 
with who we are *******