That Willow (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 27985

That Willow 

(To the tune of Tit-willow, from Gilbert & Sullivan's The Mikado)

Dedicated to Rita Winston

THE SCENE: Gryffindor Hall. HARRY, with NEVILLE as backup, describes 
his least-favorite member of the botanical kingdom

HARRY & (NEVILLE)
When Lupin came to Hogwarts they first planted it 
That willow (what willow?) that willow
And to protect his secret they enchanted it
Whomping Willow (what willow?) that willow
But once Remus had earned his NEWTS, there was no need
To continue to nurture that overgrown weed
I think Filch should have defied the tree-hugger's creed 
That willow (whose willow?) that willow

When I flew in with Ron on a flubberized Ford
Whomping Willow (what willow?) that willow
That tree tried to annihilate each boy on board
That willow (those willows?) that willow
When we flew against Hufflepuff in a big game
And a swarm of dementors unwelcoming came
Soon my Nimbus 2000 in toothpicks became
That willow (your willow?) that willow

Now, this tree with its branches could knock us down flat 
That willow (some willow?) that willow
To quiet its fervor takes a cat or a rat
That willow (what willow?) that willow
Mister Black my godfather forever I'll thank
If he transforms into a hound graceful and lank 
And upon that tree lifts up one of his hind flanks
That willow (that willow?) that willow

  -  CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm