When Dementors Aren't Engaged (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 28008

When Dementors Aren't Engaged

(To the tune of When a Felon's Not Engaged, from Gilbert & Sullivan's 
The Pirates of Penzance)

Dedicated to Amanda Lewanski

THE SCENE:  An office of the Ministry of Magic.  ALASTOR MOODY has 
just gone through mandated sensitivity training, with a seeming 
change of heart

MOODY
When dementors aren't engaged in soul-destroyment
Or in draining out each happy thought they can
Our ear for their rich culture is with joy bent
As love and peace they spread through Azkaban
We must embrace each Dark Lord as our brother
Stereotyping of death eaters we reject
We must make sure that we don't label them "The Other"
Aurors must be politically correct

We do not advocate a jingoistic Dark Arts Defense
We must heed the call for Constant Tolerance

Although Dark Wizards try at times to kill us
Or to hurt us with an Unforgiven Curse,
`Tis a sensitive thought certain to fulfill us
If we celebrate the ways that they're diverse
When a Red Cap feasts on bodies after battle
That's a lifestyle choice that we should all respect
The differences `twixt Dark and Light we'll straddle
Aurors shall be politically correct

Oh! When Lord Voldemort next strikes at us with murderous force
We must ask ourselves how we've wronged him, of course. 

NOTE: Although Prof. Moody's consciousness may seem to have been 
raised, he was actually put under a mild Confundus Curse, which wore 
off in a couple of hours - after which he went back to detesting and 
loathing all Dark Wizards and creatures, as a good Auror should.

   - CMC    

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