Snape vs. Sirius (was Grudges)

[Hillman, Lee]

No: HPFGUIDX 28378

Okay, jeez, sometimes I wish I had Madame Hooch's whistle.
 
Trust my point to get lost in a debate about the background.
 
First off, the bit about seeing Lupin and not Harry/Hermione in the tunnel
is well-taken. Yes, his first impulse must have been to catch Lupin while
meeting Sirius, thus proving that the two were colluding all year.
 
However: "'I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow,' said Snape,
throwing the cloak aside, careful to keep his wand pointing directly at
Lupin's chest. 'Very useful, Potter, I thank you....'" (PoA Ch. 19)
 
When he found the cloak, he knew (maybe assumed, but still was right) that
it was Harry's. So I agree that at that point, he knew at least Harry was
down there, and felt duty-bound to save the kid.
 
Still, my _central point_ in my original post was to observe that Snape too
is experiencing some post-traumatic stress during this episode. I believe
therefore that both Sirius and Severus need to be cut a break because their
mental states are neither of them very stable at the moment.
 
Susanna made a statement about Sirius changing to be more responsible, owing
to his 12 years around dementors. I must disagree--let me qualify. We have
had numerous discussions in the past about Sirius's mental health. The only
way he was able to remain sane, and to retain his powers, was by changing
into his canine form. When he was in human form, the dementors' presence
caused torture and mental anguish--as some have postulated, clinical
depression. I believe the scenes he relived most were the night he realised
Peter betrayed them, the scene in the street when Peter framed him, and the
time he told Snape how to open the willow. There are probably a number of
other regrets, arguments, things he's not proud of, but IMO, those are the
Big Three.
 
Yes, I do believe Sirius now has a much deeper sense of his dark side. I
believe he lives in a constant fear that he will screw up again, and
potentially hurt people he loves and/or respects. But it will take time for
him to accept his new awareness and be able to function on more than a
subsistence level. I believe he wants to be responsible, I believe he has
learned from his mistakes, but I also believe that he's still extremely
defensive and scared and depressed and unstable, and not a little bit caught
up in his memories. The key here is the idea of flashing back to the time
they were teens. He's working on a fight-or-flight set of reactions to his
situations. And because of the PTSS, he tends to go the aggressive route
first.
 
No, there's little to nothing in canon to suggest he feels this way--except
perhaps his confession to Harry and his attitude that he is responsible for
James and Lily's deaths. 
 
Do I literally mean neither he nor Snape have grown at all? No. In calmer,
more rational moments, both show that they can behave like adults. As I
said, Snape accepts his duties and there's evidence to suggest he might take
professional pride in brewing a complicated potion for its own sake,
regardless of helping Lupin. He lapses occasionally, but he manages to keep
his mouth shut about Lupin throughout the year, expressing his concerns only
to Dumbledore, and only in oblique terms in front of the students. For
Sirius's part, in GoF especially, he puts Harry's safety ahead of his own,
he's a good listener, and he seems to earnestly want to help. The offer to
live with him, I think, comes out of a desire to put the past behind him and
begin living again, as well as a sincere paternal interest in Harry's
welfare. So yes, both of them have changed. But the old grudges run deep and
long, and in that moment, in the Shrieking Shack, I believe both men regress
completely. I believe neither Sirius nor Severus can be expected to
acknowledge his own doubts, misgivings, or failures, on that issue.
 
MMMfanfic wanted to know if it's possible for rabid Sirius fans to be rabid
Severus fans as well. I am one. I love them both--and Lupin, too. I freely
acknowledge Sirius has a dark side--every bit as much of one as Severus. I
think theirs might be a case of similar personalities clashing because of
their very sameness--we frequently detest in others those same traits we
display ourselves. I'll gladly defend either one of them--but that doesn't
mean I'll let either one off the hook, either, at least not completely.
Temporary insanity, such as I believe they each display in the shrieking
shack, is about the only excuse I can accept. But they did shake hands,
albeit grudgingly, and before the end of the series, I expect to see some
resolution between the two, or I shall be sorely disappointed in them both.
 
Gwen (who can only think of about 3 characters in the series whom she
actively dislikes--and no, Lockhart's not one of them)