Bang Three Times (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 28495

BANG THREE TIMES

To the tune of Knock Three Times, which can be heard at 

http://www.rhs51.com/fifties4.htm

Dedicated to Lisa Inman & Angela Boyko

THE SCENE: The Malfoy Estate, early fall 1992. Enter LUCIUS MALFOY 
and the enslaved DOBBY

LUCIUS
Hey elf what ya doin'down there
Makin' my silver gleam while you put cream in my coffee 
To some wrong folks you've been talkin'
Doin' by far too much squawkin'
In my house with me but you don't obey me 
I loathe this
Oh my Dobby
Bang three times on the mantle with your head now
Iron your hands just to make sure you know
Oh, my house-elf
(Bang! Bang! Bang!) means that you're learning your lesson
Twice slam your ears if you're learning too slow

(Exit LUCIUS)

DOBBY
Dobby snuck out of the mansion tonight
Pulling some strings to seize letters addressed to young Harry
>From Hagrid, Weasley and Miss Granger
I must rescue him from danger 
Although to atone I must become self-disciplinary
Oh my goodness
Bang three times my head upon the doorway
Two waterjugs shatter over my brow
Oh my master
(Bang! Bang! Bang!) means that Dobby's such a bad elf
Just two more whacks, hope I'm all done for now
Though a good elf is obedient
Dobby needs a good expedient
To give of his all to work Harry's withdrawal
>From Hogwarts
Oh, young Harry
Bank three times that this house-elf will yet save you
Blockades I'll place so on trains you can't go
Oh, my hero
(Bang! Bang! Bang!) means you're overcome by Bludgers
Fall off your broom, then just look out below!

(DOBBY vanishes)

   - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm