Snape: Vampire vs. Dementor

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 37397

Eloise asked:

> Can I ask this question again? PLEASE will someone explain to me 
>about Dementors and hydrophobia?

Porphyria replied:

> You might already realize this, but this was something Cindy came 
up 
> with, round about post #33862. I shall defer any further 
explanation to 
> her.

Well, what do we have here?  A new crop of potential recruits to the 
idea that Snape is part-dementor?  Perhaps a few folks are feeling a 
deep sense of dissatisfaction with the idea that Snape is a vampire 
and are looking for something a bit more . . . distinctive?

I know exactly how you feel.  Snape-As-Vampire is so . . . so . . . 
so *yesterday*!  It's been foreshadowed half to death already.  
Opinion polls have even been taken on whether people think Snape is a 
vampire.  That proves that Snape-As-Vampire is becoming downright 
conventional, practically *corporate*.  No, Snape-As-Vampire simply 
won't do.

Ah, but Snape-As-Part-Dementor.  Now *that* is supported by canon and 
is so improbable that it is exactly the sort of thing JKR would try 
to pull.  But we'll be ready for her this time, won't we?  We have a 
nifty acronym (SLAPDASH -- Snape's Life As Part-Dementor: A Sorrowful 
History), and at this point, the only things we really need are, uh, 
actual members.  In fact, I don't think we can technically say "we" 
because SLAPDASH is pretty much just me, I suppose. But that's about 
to change!

Where's the canon, you ask?  Oh, there's plenty of canon to think 
Snape is far from normal.  Even among wizards, Snape is highly 
unusual.  He has greasy hair, a silky voice, sallow skin, and a mean 
temperament. He occupies a dungeon, has a severe personality, and 
prowls the castle, doesn't spend a lot of time outside in the sun, 
and has associated with evil DEs.  He is described as gliding, gives 
Neville the shakes and is Neville's deepest fear. He seems to delight 
in causing strong emotional responses in others (such as when he 
stopped Harry from finding Dumbledore in GoF).  

But there is that one rather awkward question hanging out there:  How 
could a wizard have, um, relations with a sightless, soul-sucking, 
slimy-handed dementor to produce Snape, The Half-Dementor? 

No problem.  No problem at all.  Snape isn't a direct descendant of a 
dementor via marriage. Instead, Snape's mother was pregnant with him 
when she was attacked by a dementor.  She was unable to ward off the 
dementor, and the dementor sucked out her soul, leaving her alive and 
still gestating our little Severus.  She continued to exist and Snape 
was born. Because his mother was relieved of her soul while he was in 
utero, Severus is part-dementor and has many of the characteristics 
of a dementor, but not to the same degree as a real dementor (cold, 
gliding, draining happiness from the air around them, infesting the 
darkest places).

Now, the hydrophobia idea isn't essential to the Snape-As-Part-
Dementor theory.  The idea is that Snape can't immerse himself in 
water because of his half-dementor problem.  Note that there is a 
stone gargoyle fountain in Snape's classroom, but we never see Snape 
touch water. Perhaps he can tolerate enough water to wipe his skin 
clean, but taking a shower to wash his hair would finish him. As I 
said, you can take or leave the hydrophobia part.  I rather like it 
though because, well, any decent Snape theory has to have *some* take 
on his grooming problem, doesn't it?  

Anyway, Half-Dementor Snape shares an affinity with dementors, but he 
resents them for what they did to his poor mother. I like to think 
that Severus lost a bit of his soul in the attack as well. 
Dumbledore, who apparently is willing to hire pretty much anyone, 
knows that Snape is part-dementor, but hires him anyway.  

This puts a new spin on Moody's conversation with Dumbledore in the 
Karkaroff Pensieve scene.  Moody makes a remark about giving 
Karkaroff back to the dementors, and IIRC, Dumbledore makes a noise 
of dissent.  It is Moody who says Dumbledore doesn't like dementors.  
Perhaps Dumbledore is being a bit evasive there -- he doesn't like 
dementors generally, but he has come to trust Snape despite his half-
dementor status.  

In fact, Half-Dementor Snape might even help explain why Snape became 
a DE.  If we are to believe Dumbledore at the end of GoF, the 
dementors are aligned with Voldemort.  If that is so, perhaps Snape 
was just following his dementor instincts when he became a DE.  He 
was powerless to resist the temptation to become a DE, the poor guy.  

Anyway, SLAPDASH also neatly explains why Snape did not hand Black to 
the dementors in PoA when Snape had the chance. Deep down, Snape could
not be directly responsible for allowing dementors to do what they 
did to his mother and suck out Black's soul, despite how much he 
hates Black.

You want *more* canon?  Boy, this is a tough crowd.  Well, OK.  One 
troubling thing about GoF is that the dementor sucks out Crouch Jr.'s 
soul, and Snape does not conjure a patronus to prevent this.  Snape 
seems to have been quite talented at Dark Arts, having arrived at 
Hogwarts knowing quite a number of curses.  Yet Snape doesn't ward 
off the dementor, even though Snape should appreciate the importance 
of keeping Crouch Jr. alive to give testimony.  And why is that?  
Because Snape *can't* conjure a patronus because he's half-dementor; 
it would finish him for sure.  

So, you see, Snape-As-Part-Dementor is unassailable.  It's 
canonical.  It's rather Bangy.  It's, uh, tremendously unpopular.  
What's not to like?  :-)

Cindy