Grey Lady, lifespan & mixed marriage, acronyms (reformatted)

[Tabouli]

No: HPFGUIDX 37628

Petra:
>The Grey Lady's costume is definitely not of the time period
 befitting a woman who could have given birth to Tom Riddle,
 Jr. near the beginning of the last century. <
 
OK all you history buffs out there who saw You-Know-What, what era clothing *was* she wearing?
 
Ameko:
> She might not have been old enough to be Tom's mother but her costume may fit just the right time period.  If SS/PS takes place in 1991 and Dumbledore is 150 years old, he was born circa 1841.  He may have married as early as age 20, making the wedding sometime in 1860. <
 
Hmmmm.  A bit of Dumbledore shipping, eh?  Here's an idea to toss into the pot... maybe Dumbledore's sock-knitting wife was a Muggle, and died after living a Muggle lifespan, and Voldemort's "Muggle-loving fools" slur was in fact literally true.  As for the Grey business, well, by wizard standards she went grey very young, especially considering her husband was still auburn at 100...
 
Which brings me to something I can't remember seeing on-list... what do people think happens with the lifespan difference in Muggle-Wizard marriages?  I'm reminded of the sad scene in "The Rats of NIMH" when the genetically enhanced mouse realised that his wife would grow old and die long before him, because she'd never had the shots for increasing her lifespan.
 
Will Seamus' dad be tragically bereaved only halfway through his life?  Are there 80yo mixed couples out there where the muggle spouse is stooping and feeble and the wizard has to nurse him/her to what wizards would see as an early grave?  Alternatively, does marrying a wizard give you access to a wizard lifespan somehow?  (long life potion?)  If so, there's another good reason to keep the Wizarding world secret... all the single ones would be killed in the marrigeable magic-digging Muggle stampede!  Just think: the wounds and ills of all your family could be healed in minutes, you could keep your house totally safe from burglars by making it unplottable, get rid of unwanted guests, get your spouse to do home repairs and housework with a mere wave of the wand, avoid parking problems by floo or flight by broomstick... 
 
Rohit Puskoor wrote:
> Tabouli, Grey Wolf, there's an acronym challenge for
> ya'... Ginny and Neville proving themselves to be more
> formidable wizards than anyone's given 'em credit for
> so far.
 
Christine Peterson said:
> *jumps up and waves* I second that challenge! ^_^
 
Captain Tabouli's captor is a cruel creature.  Though he does not provide her with food or water, he somehow manages to deliver regular requests for acronyms from the public.  Fortunately, the Captain has secret supplies stashed in her cabin wardrobe, and a cupboard under the sink in which she has secreted a hydroponic tomato crop, which she had hoped to combine with a couple of the garlic bulbs grown in the vampire theories wing to make pasta sauce.
 
For want of anything better to do in her incarceration, she switches on the acronym generator and leafs idly through the requests. A small, impudent slip of paper flutters to the ground.  She picks it up and then stiffens in horror.  The situation is even worse than she feared.  There is a mutiny on board!  In her absence, that upstart Grey Wolf (analogous to the Grey Lady?) is attempting to usurp TAGS (Tabouli's Acronym Generation Service) with his own, homegrown acronyms!  This shall not be bourne!
 
As she reads the fruit of the Grey paws, however, her heart sinks like an anchor.  His efforts are indeed impressive, especially considering that he hails from distant climes where other tongues prevail.  Is TAGS doomed?  Will the acronyms of Theory Bay, once issued almost exclusively with TAGS attached now bear only the pawprint of the Wolf?
 
Grey Wolf:
G.A.N.G.S. (Ginny And Neville: Great Sorcerers)
or better yet
 
G.A.N.G. W.A.R.S. (Ginny And Neville, Great Wizards, Always Remain 
Secretive)
 
or best:
G.A.N.G. W.A.R. U.P.H.E.A.V.A.L.S. (Ginny And Neville, Great Wizards, 
Always Remain Undercover Protecting Harry's Exploits, Although Visibly Are Largely Squibs).
 
Captain Tabouli sternly reminds herself that she is known for her warm, inclusive spirit, and should always on the lookout for new and talented crew.  Besides which, perhaps the lure of a new look TAGWATCH (Tabouli And Grey Wolf's Acronym Tempering Company Headquarters) might tempt Grey Wolf to set her free...
 
jc:
> U.G.A.N.D.A - Underappreciated Ginny And Neville Develop Amazingly
 

As she is slotting Grey Wolf's acronyms into her recruitment files, she catches sight of another high quality acronym, sketched out on the back, but someone whose identity is obscure behind the mysterious initials jc.

 

Sweating slightly, she feeds the recent request into the MAGI machine (which could even be relabelled the MAGIC machine: Magnificent Acronym Generating Intelligent Computer), willing it to come up with something which truly reveals bumbling Neville and innocent Ginny to be:

 

N.A.G.I.N.I.'S. B.A.N.E.  (Neville And Ginny's Incredible Native Intelligence Simmers Behind A Naive Exterior)

 

...whose dramatic development in magical powers could well arise due to Hagrid's decision to replace his usual crops with...

 

O.R.G.A.N.I.C. V.E.G.E.T.A.B.L.E.S. (Ordinarily Renounced Ginny And Neville Improve, Curbing Voldemort's Evil Growth, Eventually Transforming And Becoming Laudably Effective Sorcerors)

 

Of course, as all good Flying Hedgehogs know, apparently vulnerable, innocent and incompetent characters should be watched with deep suspicion, as evidenced by Quirrell and Scabbers.

 

Was Ginny *really* Tom Riddle's unwitting accomplice?  Is her crush on Harry just an excuse for keeping a close watch on him?  Did Neville *really* just absent-mindedly leave that list of passwords lying around, or did he give it to Crookshanks on the sly, wrongly imagining that he was aiding the forces of Evil?  Could the Death Eaters who tortured Neville's parents *really* have resisted the temptation to twist his toddling torso onto Sinister Streets?  Does Snape torture Neville because he senses Foul Forces fuming behind his freckled facade?  As for Trevor, Neville's fans would do well to consider the dark doctrine of TOADKEEPER (The Odious Amphibian: Death-eater Knavishly Executing Espionage, Pursuing Evil Revenge), and the possibility that Neville is not the hapless victim of his treacherous toad(y), but an active and corrupt collaborator in his wicked warty ways, keeping an evil eye on Harry and then stealthily sending Trevor to Voldemort with news of his progress in Defence Against the Dark Arts while listening to the malevolent music of:

 

W.O.L.F.G.A.N.G. A.M.A.D.E.U.S. M.O.Z.A.R.T. ("We Only *Look* Feeble!" Neville And Ginny's Glorious Acting Neutralises Genuine Amoral Mission As Death-Eater Undercover Spies, Operating Zealously Against Redoutable Trio)

 

Tabouli.


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