snape's kitten

[dicentra63]

No: HPFGUIDX 37727

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "jaymzhuk" <jwh at c...> wrote:
> 
> With all this talk of Snape having a soft side, I couldn't resist 
> building my own hut on the hills around Theory Bay:
> 
> THE SHRIEKING SHACK (Teacher's Hard Exterior Shrouds Heart-Rendered 
> Interior - Even Kindness If Nobody Gazing: Snape Has a Cute Kitten).
> 
> I don't think it would last long against canon fire, but couldn't 
> stop myself.
> 

Yes!  Yes!  A kitty!  A little bitty kitty!  And he holds it and pets
it and calls it G...  um...  better not go that route.  We've already
got one of those Georges and he's enough trouble as it is.

And not a black kitty, either; that's too cliche. It's a little gray
striped kitty with blue eyes and long fur. He gives it a reverse
Kitty-Gro potion so it never grows out of being a kitten. It likes to
play with Snape's toes while he's in the bathroom doing his toilette
(such as it is). After a long day of sniping and putting two and two
together (as only he can), he goes back to his lair and sits by the
fire with the kitty tucked under his chin, purring and purring, until
Snape falls asleep.  

Around 3am the kitty wakes up and wants to play. She begins to paw
Snape's formidable nose. Getting no reaction, she begins to pretend
there are mice near Snape's collarbone, and her little claws rake his
skin as she digs into the space between his robe and his neck. Around
this time Snape wakes up and tosses the kitty on the floor, but in
true kitty style, she doesn't take the hint and in a flash she's on
his lap again, clinging to his robes with her claws, who manage to
catch a few pieces of flesh in the process. 

Snape gets up and tries to go to bed, prying the kitty off his robes
and tossing her on the floor again, but she follows him, directly
under his feet, so she's either being stepped or she's tripping him as
he walks down the hall.

Snape crawls into bed, and the kitty is right there, standing on his
chest and turning her backside toward his nose. He tosses the kitty
off the bed and utters some choice adjectives. Again, not taking the
hint, the kitty jumps on the bed and sees his toe moving under the
blankets. She pounces on it, biting the blankets and managing to get a
couple of sharp teeth through the blanket and into his flesh. Snape
kickes at her mightily and she lands on the floor. But finding this
tossing around stuff good fun, she's back on the bed.  

Snape's had it. He leaps out of bed, grabs the cat under the belly,
and tosses her out of the room, shuts the door, and throws himself
back on the bed. Outside his bedroom door, the kitty begins to cry as
if she had just lost her best friend. Snape pulls the pillows over his
head to drown out the mewling, but he knows she's there, crying her
little heart out. When he wakes up the next morning, he's hardly
refreshed, and the little kitty scratches sting like crazy. He's
grumpy and out of sorts and the sniping commences once again.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is your canon for
T.H.E.S.H.R.I.E.K.I.N.G.S.H.A.C.K.  Snape's nasty demeanor is the
fault of a cute little kitty cat that he can't bear to throw in the
lake but that drives him crazy every single night.

--Dicentra, whose black cat that gets her up at 5am