Father - figures (Was: Snape the Father)

[kiricat2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 38016

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "ritadear2" <ritadarling at i...> wrote:

> Marianne wrote:
> 
> "Harry does react like a typical kid when Sirius takes him to task 
> in GoF for walking off into the forest with Krum and demands that 
> Harry promise not to do anything like that again. "Who's he to 
> lecture me about being out-of-bounds...after all the stuff he did 
at 
> school?" But, Harry is only mildy miffed at this; whereas had 
> Snape said the same thing to him, Harry would have been very 
> annoyed."
> 
> I noticed a similar thing in PoA, when Snape was yelling at Harry 
> for his head being seen at Hogsmeade.  Everything Snape said 
> was true, that folks were going out of their way to protect him, 
yet 
> he is so arrogant that he risks going there anyway.  When Snape 
> said it to him, he reacted defensively with anger, but then when 
> Lupin said basically the same thing to him (in a different way), he 
> was receptive to it and even felt guilty.   Snape just isn't 
willing to 
> coddle Harry and his ego when pointing out his bad judgement.

I agree to the idea that Snape cuts to the chase with Harry and gives 
him the message he wants Harry to hear, and does not care about the 
manner in which the message is delivered.  

I'm not sure whether Rita is implying that Remus and Sirius are 
coddling Harry when pointing out his bad judgment.  I don't think 
either of them do that.  Sirius is certainly emphatic about not 
wanting Harry to wander out-of-bounds in GoF.  And Harry definitely 
gets the message when Remus chastises him over the use of the Map in 
PoA - 
' "A poor way to repay them - gambling their sacrifice for a bag of 
magic tricks." He walked away, leaving Harry feeling worse by far than
he had at any point in Snape's office.'

Harry is willing to admit, at least to himself, that he may be wrong 
in his actions or judgment, and Remus/Sirius may be right. Snape may 
very well be sending the same message to Harry, but he's sending it 
in a way that Harry can't or won't receive it.  

Part of being an effective father-figure is the ability to guide 
someone when they are following the wrong path.  Or to try to correct 
improper or dangerous behavior.  Or simpy to let a child know that 
their actions are wrong and that they have not behaved in the way 
that's expected of them.  However, that message has to be delivered 
effectively in order for the child to learn the lesson.  Harry's 
problen is that he is willing to be guided by Remus and Sirius, but 
they are not present day-to-day.  Snape is there, but Harry still 
sees him as more adversary than ally.


Marianne