Fourth Man Variants.

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 38342

>Cindy (thinking there ought to be even more Fourth Man variants out 
>there)

Well, variety * is* the spice of life, isn't it?


Charis Julia nimbly whips out a box of Berty Bott's Every Flavour 
Beans from her robes and offers them over to Cindy. "Watch out for 
the ochre ones", she warns. "They're yucky!" Cindy, suspecting Charis 
is meanly hogging all the best beans, promptly digs her fist deep 
into the packet scrounging desperately. "A—ha!" Her hand emerges 
holding a dirty--yellow blob.

"Urg! What is that!"


Do you really want to know? You Sure? Right. But don't say I didn't 
warn you.


********************

Fourth Man With Serious Perversion.


1) I am most ashamed to admit that this is in fact the first Fourth 
Man variant that popped into my mind as soon as I read Cindy's 
request. Pop! Just like that! <shakes head woefully but proceeds with 
presentation nonetheless> In FMWSP Avery is in fact a real sicko with 
a twisted appetite for Cruciatus Blasts. You know. . . pain and 
pleasure are all the same and all that. . . In the graveyard he put 
himself forward actually * hoping* for a stint of Crucio. He, err, * 
likes* it. So. . . err, yes. Right. Well. I actually prefer to 
pretend that I didn't really ever even * hear* of this suggestion, 
let alone make it up, so, err, let's just move on, shall we? Ah, no, 
hang on a minute. Can't. Not done yet. One more possibility to 
examine (if a job's worth doing it's worth doing well):


2)Fourth Man In Cruciatus Contest:


The Death Eaters, being, as Ron astutely observes, * all* total 
sickos, * all* have a thing for the Cruciatus Curse. And they're in a 
competition, wouldn't you know. To see who can collect the most zaps. 
Real exciting game. Winner gets to sacrifice limbs to Evil Overlord. 
Pettigrew won in the last round, but Avery's * determined* to get a 
head start this time.


3) Suicidal Fourth Man:


(For best results add Fourth Man With SHIP, FM With Remorse or FM 
With Innocence. Also very interesting when combined with Fourth Man, 
With Slashy SHIP —see below)


Avery is, for reasons of his own, incredibly miserable. Forlorn. 
Despondent. * Morbid*. Being a total SYCOPHANT however he just 
doesn't have the guts to do away with himself unaided. Then Voldemort 
trots up and is rebirthed and it's the golden opportunity Avery's 
been waiting for. He flings himself at his Master's feet * hoping* 
for AK. But Voldemort's smarter than that, see. (yes,yes, I know. 
This is the weak part of this suggestion, but just use your 
imagination, ok?) He knows Avery is just begging to be bumped off. 
But he's not about to give him what he wants, is he?. So he goes for 
Crucio instead. 


4) Fourth Man, With Slashy SHIP:


Catlady should like this one `cos it makes Snape gay. And he and 
Avery, you see, they kinda had a thing going on together. Since way 
back. Hogwarts days. But then, as if from nowhere (Nowhere!) , Snape 
gets all these weird good v. bad ideas into his head. He dumps the 
Death Eaters, dumps Avery and starts, err, hanging out with 
Dumbledore instead. Poor Pitiful Avery is left Fondling Pictures Of 
Snape While Shivering Alone In Mother's Basement. When Voldemort's 
rebirthed he turns Suicidal. (see above)

5) Fourth Man, With Teenybopper Crush:


Avery still gay, but this time has a thing for, err, Voldemort. All 
very tragic and unrequited naturally because Voldemort wouldn't know 
Love if it collapsed at his feet in a writhing, shrieking * mess*. 
But Avery doesn't mind. He loves his Voldy regardless. And that's why 
he so submisively puts up with the Cruciatus (isn't it obvious?). He 
knows how much the Dark Lord enjoys the screaming. And anyway Avery 
suspects that after 13 years his iccle darkeykins's Cruciatus skills 
might not be quite up to scratch. So Avery's looking out for him, see.


6) Fourth Man, With Relief: 


After Voldemort's fall Avery, claiming Imperius, switched sides. 
Intent on convincing everyone of his innocence he emerged himself 
deep in his role. Way deep. So very deep in fact that he actually 
started * thinking*. Going over his wrongdoings. And we all know what 
happened then, don't we, Charis nods knowwlingly to supporters of 
Remorse. He felt * guilty*. And he didn't like that feeling, no not 
one little bit. So, when Voldemort returned, touching his Dark Mark 
and * forcing* him to return, Avery is actually * relieved*. Now he 
can go back to doing bad things without uncomfortable conscience—
related repercussions. The Cruciatus was an expression of his 
gratitude to Voldemert for this salvation. And a way to vent his 
feelings too. You know. Let off loose energy.



7) Backstabbing Fourth Man:


Now. How do you think the Longbottom's Cruciators were caught, huh? 
Ahhh, that's right. Clever Grownup. Got it in one. Avery pulled a 
Pettigrew. He turned them in. That's how he got off light, you 
understand. Cut a deal with the Ministry.


8) Fourth Man As Seer:


Now, you might not have noticed yet at this point in the story and if 
so that would be perfectly understandable, but Avery most * 
evidently* possesses the Gift. In a big way.I mean, there's just no 
stopping him. (you hadn't noticed?) He can penetrate through the 
veiled Mysteries of the Future like * that* <Charis snaps fingers> 
So, you see, he * knows*. He's already * seen* it all. In his crystal 
ball you realize. He's not really an Abject Neurotic at all, oh my 
goodness no! Not really. Not by a long shot. That's just our ignorant 
misconception. What he's * really* doing in the graveyard, see, is 
Answering the Beckoning of Fate. That's why he gives in so easily. 
He's playing along, right. The fates have informed him that his 
chances of resisting are * nil* and he just wants it all over as 
quickly as possible. Same goes for the Trial: Knows there's no 
possibility of acquaintance, but it doesn't worry him too much. 
Through the Noble Arts of Divination Avery has Seen his release in 
the near future Very Clearly. Besides, he's still too woozy for 
Dramatic Declarations from his last Revelation. Let the Mundane Minds 
shoot their mouths off.


I kinda like this one. :--)



So there you go. Eight brand new Fourth Man variants For You To Enjoy 
And Collect. And feel free to pick n' mix too if you wish. I would 
note however that personally, I'm standing strong by In Over His Head 
Fourth Man. He makes better sense.

Charis Julia, With Indigestion.

P.S. My sincere apologies to the respected generator of the admirable 
Fourth Man Theory, which definitely does not deserve such ridicule. I 
couldn't resist.:--)