Dumbledore

[porphyria_ash]

No: HPFGUIDX 42814

Richelle gave several examples of Dumbledore not helping Harry deal 
with the information he gives him, including: 

<<1) In SS/PS, Harry's in the hospital wing.  Dumbledore tells him 
about his mother's sacrifice.  Then becomes interested in a bird out 
the window while Harry wipes away tears on the sheet.  Why pretend 
not to notice?  Sure, boys aren't supposed to cry.  But can't we get 
away from that stereotype?  Harry's never had a chance to grieve for 
his parents, let him cry and tell him it's okay.>>

My comments:

I think that in general the text characterizes Harry as being tough 
and very invested in his image of himself as being tough. He 
associates fear and emotion with weakness. Of course Harry has never 
had any reason to trust adults and he has never been encouraged to 
show his feelings about anything with the Dursleys, so as a result he 
is very stoic, and also very proud of his stoicism. I think that JKR 
wants us to see Dumbledore as humoring Harry here, as not making him 
feel embarrassed about showing emotion. I think it goes beyond a 
stereotype of 'boys don't cry;' I think it's more like Harry in 
particular doesn't cry and hates to cry because it makes him feel 
weak, and he's used to the Dursleys teasing him for every weakness. I 
agree that you might think Dumbledore would tell him it's OK to cry, 
but I suspect that Dumbledore feels that merely saying that to Harry 
won't change Harry's feelings of pride and his desire to appear 
tough. Harry might need to mature a little more and get more used to 
trusting others before he feels it's OK to cry in front of anyone. 
Dumbledore is presumably intuitive enough to understand Harry's 
stoicism, especially since Harry has just finished showing that he 
considered saving the Philosopher's Stone to be more important than 
his own life. So he's letting Harry have his moment of emotion in 
private. He's not criticizing him for it either -- perhaps Dumbledore 
feels the most subtle way to let Harry cry is to just be neutral 
about it. Harry would certainly hate to be fussed over.

They books abound with examples of Harry's attitude towards this, 
although it's mostly implicit in PS/SS. That book does mention that 
Dudley cries to manipulate his parents into giving him whatever he 
wants, so perhaps Harry associates crying with manipulation. In PoA 
he is humiliated by his susceptibility to the Dementors and worries 
that it means he's weak. He hates the fact that Malfoy teases him 
over this and his other friends become terribly worried about it. 
Likewise, when Lupin doesn't let him face the Boggart in class, Harry 
worries that Lupin thinks he's a coward. Lupin wants to comfort Harry 
in his sorrow over his parents, but he too understands that Harry 
would hate this and would continue to suspect Lupin of considering 
him weak if he were to embrace him. Likewise in GoF, Harry is 
extremely reluctant to tell anyone about his scar hurting him, he's 
afraid that complaining about it will make it look like he's losing 
his nerve. Even when he finally writes to Sirius about it, he has to 
slip the mention in very casually so as to make it not seem like a 
big deal. And of course it takes a long time for him to finally bring 
himself to mention this to Dumbledore. 

I think on the one hand the text equates stoicism with heroism and 
applauds Harry for putting his ideals before his worry about his own 
problems. Before Harry goes through the trapdoor in PS/SS, he makes 
it clear that he isn't worried about expulsion or death itself 
because if Voldemort gets a hold of the Stone, then it will mean 
death for himself and everyone else. He sees his own well-being as 
less important that that of the whole wizarding world. On the other 
hand, I think the way that Harry deals with his own sense of weakness 
and his trust in adults will change with time. It's quite a triumph 
when Harry finally confides in Dumbledore about his scar, and it's 
quite dramatic when Harry finally lets Molly comfort him at the end 
of the book. So I think that Dumbledore is just trying to let Harry 
deal with this part of himself in his own good time. 

Richelle again: 

<<2) In GoF, Dumbledore tells Harry all sorts of things that really 
aren't his business.  Such as Neville's parents.  If Neville wanted 
Harry to know he'd have told him.  Of course, after four years the 
topic should have come up.  Although I imagine Harry avoids the topic 
of parents as much as possible.>>

Me:

I think this is an example of the changing relationship between 
Dumbledore and Harry. Dumbledore is slowly letting Harry learn more 
about the history of the wizarding world, and at the same time 
showing that he knows that Harry can keep a secret. I think Harry 
will come to understand that if Dumbledore can trust and confide in 
him, then he too can trust and confide in Dumbledore. I think this is 
a more subtle approach than Dumbledore just telling Harry "you can 
come tell me your problems any time you want." I think Harry would 
resist that, but he might respond more to a gradual awakening of 
curiosity and his sense of his position in the grand scheme of 
things. I think that Harry will naturally develop more curiosity 
about his parents in future books, and what we see in GoF is 
Dumbledore planting the idea in Harry's head of the importance of 
history without telling him how he should feel in a bossy way. 

Richelle:

<< 3) Here's where I have *real* issues with Dumbledore. Harry comes 
back from the graveyard, port keys back to Hogwarts...

<I've snipped a bit; but Harry is in terrible physical pain and 
Dumbledore doesn't do much to alleviate it>

I know Dumbledore's trying to take care of the emotional pain, but he 
seems to ignore the physical.  Unless of course he had instructed 
Fawkes to do something (or is Fawkes and using a time turner, which 
is way too complicated to be the key if you ask me) in which case he 
still let him suffer a while.  Is this a "guy" thing or is physical 
pain just an after thought to him?>>

Me:

Well, again, the books seem to laud the wizard ideal as being tough 
on physical pain. Here's a passage from the beginning of GoF:

"It wasn't the pain that bothered him; Harry was no stranger to pain 
and injury. He had lost all the bones from his right arm once and had 
them painfully regrown in a night. The same arm had been pierced by a 
venemous foot-long fang not long afterward. Only last year Harry had 
fallen fifty feet from an airborn broomstick. He was used to bizarre 
accidents and injuries; they were unavoidable if you attended 
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and had a knack for 
attracting a lot of trouble."

I think this represents both Harry's opinion and the wizarding 
world's opinion. There's almost a bit of black humor to it. I think 
the point we are supposed to get from this is that in general if 
Harry is to be the hero to defeat Lord Voldemort then he ought to be 
a bit stoic about physical pain. He might just be in for a few more 
Crucios and he shouldn't fear that sort of thing. I agree that 
Dumbledore might be a bit more sympathetic, but I think he tries to 
recognize Harry as heroic and part of doing that within the wizarding 
culture is to not treat him as if he were wimpy or in constant need 
of coddling. 

I think if we think of Harry as a normal boy in the real world we 
will all be horrified at his treatment even at the hands of his 
allies. So we have to factor in a little appreciation for the Hero's 
Journey genre and consider that Real Wizards are just made of tougher 
stuff than Muggles like us. 

~Porphyria