FILK: Our Informative Snape

[smilingfalcon]

No: HPFGUIDX 42916

Our Informative Snape
To the tune of "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from Disney's "The Little
Mermaid".

Setting: 
A small, underground dungeon.  In the middle of the room sits a small
wooden table.  On one side the table sits Severus Snape.  Across from
him, (looking thoroughly disgusted), sit Alistair Moody and Barty
Crouch, Sr..   Standing behind Snape's chair is Albus Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
The only way we can get what we want is to have Snape spy for us
himself.

MOODY (spoken, obviously sceptical):  
Do you trust him?

DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
My dear Alistair, that's what I do - it's what I live for. To trust
unfortunate Death Eaters -  like Snape... (Phantom Disney music wafts
through the room).

DUMBLEDORE (breaking into song):
I'll admit that Mr. Snape here is quite nasty
His character would make a dragon twitch

SNAPE
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways

DUMBLEDORE:
Repented!  To our side he'd like to switch!

MOODY:
Why?

DUMBLEDORE:
Ahh...

SNAPE:
I'll admit that I'm an adept of the Dark Arts
It's a talent that I always have possessed.
But 'cause torture's just so crass
I'll spy on your behalf

MOODY (aside to Crouch):
I think some woman 
Caused an urge that was repressed!

CROUCH:
Pathetic.

DUMBLEDORE:
Our informative Snape!
His news
We need!
And if we let him live just
Long enough to get a girl
He'll relax some
Wait and see!
Oh! Our informative Snape!

MOODY (Sarcastic):
So sad!

CROUCH (Angrily):
Hey you!
This Death Eater has a cauldron
If we trust him wait and see!
He will toss us
In his brew!

SNAPE (Smiling evilly at Crouch):
That may have happened once or twice
When someone wasn't very nice...

DUMBLLEDORE (aside, to Snape):
Shut up!  Or a Dementor's your next date!

SNAPE (somewhat conciliatory):
Well, my temper's quite irate,
But next to Voldy, I'm a saint.

DUMBELDORE:
Oh, our informative Snape!

MOODY: 
Those Death-Eaters of Voldemort's don't blabber
How else are we to find out what's in store?
So I'll agree, though I'd prefer
To lunch on dragon tur -

CROUCH (interrupting):
Why should we trust
This, greasy git now, Dumbledore?

SNAPE:
I'm no longer that impressed by blood and screaming
Guess my other motivations, if you can.
Trusting me may hurt your head,

DUMBLEDORE:
Without news, we'll soon be dead!
We need clever spy and he's our man!
Come on, now, our informative Snape!
Sympathise,
Imagine,
Mr. Snape just may have suffered
>From the Cruciatus curse

CROUCH:
Oh, Ouch! That,
Really hurts!

DUMBLEDORE:
Our informative Snape!

CROUCH:
All right!
He's in!
If Snape will spy on Voldemort
Then maybe we can win, but
One wrong move and it's a cell
In darkest Azkaban for him!

SNAPE (muttering):
Brew a potion just for you..

DUMBLEDORE (aside, sternly to Snape):
Now, Severus, we made a deal!

(Snape leaves the room to begin work as a spy)

DUMBLEDORE, MOODY and CROUCH:
If he's not killed we'll see him later on
When he's got news to squeal: 
Our spy, informative Snape!

Smilingfalcon 
Who has obviously been forced to watch too many kid's movies
lately....