[filk] Agony!

[Lilac]

No: HPFGUIDX 43123


AGONY!

to the tune of "Agony" from the musical INTO THE WOODS

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/cgi-bin/schlabo/dl.pl?IntoTheWoods-TheSongOfTheTwoPrinces

Dedicated to all those who have endured the agony of asking someone out!

(The Scene: Harry has just entered the common room, where he finds Ginny comforting Ron in a distant corner.)

HARRY: What's up, Ron?

RON: Why did I do it? I don't know what made me do it!

HARRY: What?

GINNY: He -- er -- just asked Fleur Delacour to go to the ball with him.

HARRY: You WHAT?

RON (singing): She does entrance, that flower from France,

with long, silvery-blond hair.

So very becoming while getting quite chummy

with Cedric Digg'ry down there.   

Agony!  Hide me under the rug!  

What was I getting at?

She just stared like I was a sea slug

HARRY:  You were right, Ron, 'bout her entrancing charm;

Her grandma was Veela.

Prob'ly caught blast of the charm she had cast

for Cedric to feel-a.

RON: (puctuating each "why" with hitting his head on the wall)

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why...Agony!

HARRY:  She was wasting her time

Diggery's going with Cho Chang

That bloke's such a big slime!

BOTH:  Agony!

HARRY:  Mine's not painful as yours!

I was too late to ask her for a date...

Not what I'd hoped for.

GINNY (trying to help them both feel better):

You both are sensitive, clever, well mannered, considerate... 

HARRY:...Scrawny and messy-haired...

RON:...Long-nosed and freckle-faced...

BOTH:...Only fourteen!

RON (with sarcasm):  Yeah, we're "everything witches could wish for"...then why no?

HARRY:  Do I know?

RON (with despair):  They must think we're mad!

HARRY:  They know nothing of madness, they're not asking *us* out,

We're always in doubt, screwing our courage up, 

They walk in packs 'round us...

BOTH (hitting their heads):

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why... Agony!

RON:  Misery! 

HARRY:  Woe!

BOTH:  Oh, this stupid Yule Ball!

RON:  I was under her spell

HARRY:  I was too late, oh hell!

BOTH:  There's no "justice for all". 

Agony that can cut like a knife!

So unfair, a boy's life!



 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Tut, tut --- hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is *lilac*. I say so in Year with the Yeti." 

--Gilderoy Lockhart, COS



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