This Tolkien Ring (filk - yes, it's an HP filk!)

[Caius Marcius <coriolan_cmc@hotmail.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 47880

This Tolkien Ring

To the tune of This Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis and the Playboys

Hear the original at:

http://www.wtv-zone.com/ezegoinguy/Musicpage4.html

Dedicated to Marina F. 

THE SCENE: Hogwarts Library. After reading LOTR, HARRY decides that 
on balance, he is much better suited to be a Rowling as opposed to a 
Tolkien protagonist

HARRY
Who'd want to star in Tolkien's Ring?
They cut it off your finger, now, and that would really sting
This Tolkien Ring has bad guys worse than Voldemort
And this Tolkien Ring lacks for broomsticks and candy stores
And though I grieve with Colin Creevey followin'
Better him than Gollum......

Tolkien wrote oodles of Ring back story 
Would I have to sing and dance his faux mythology?
In Tolkien's Ring they would let Dobby bear a sword
And in Tolkien's Ring I'd go barefoot to fight Mordor
And I'd get Borked with a billion orcs escapin'
Think I'll stick with Snape `n'


.

In Tolkien's Ring being unseen make Nazgul pounce
And the proper names are all words that I can't pronounce
And wooden Ents I'd much resent if still, oh, 
They act like Whomping Willows

This Tolkien Ring has just one good guy magical 
And this Tolkien Ring, well the end's kinda tragical
Not JRR, it's JKR I'll count on
Don't send me to Doom Mountain

.

   -	CMC 

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm