Longbottoms and practical jokers, again

[Eric Oppen]

No: HPFGUIDX 34974


>

>    From: "ssk7882" <theennead at attbi.com>
>
> My favorite subversive, Eric Oppen of "Frank Longbottom Was
> Judge Dredd On Acid!" fame,

*grins and takes a bow*  Thenkyew, thenkyew.  I try to specialize in
thinking outside of the usual boxes we build for each other.  I didn't say
that Frank Longbottom _was_ "like Judge Dredd on acid," but I _did_ bring up
the possibility that he, or he and his wife together if they were both
Aurors, were targeted because of the Aurors' admittedly abusive behavior
during the last parts of Vold War One.  We know of imprisonment without
trials, trials basically conducted like the worst parts of the French
Revolution (all they were missing was the guillotine; good job they weren't
in France---however, I wonder how many long-stretch Azkaban prisoners would
_ask for_ the National Razor if they were offered that choice?) and use of
the Unforgivable Curses by Aurors.  If some Aurors ran amok on people who
later turned out to be innocent *coughcoughSiriuscoughcough* or abused their
powers in other ways, a motive for torturing Aurors even after Voldemort had
clearly lost the war becomes apparent.  We _know_ the Ministry of Magic's
not exactly good at ferreting out bad 'uns---personally, I'd as soon
soul-kiss a coral snake as give McNair the job he now holds.  It took a
"grass" from within the ranks of the Death Eaters themselves to uncover
Rookwood, of the Department of Mysteries.  _What if some Aurors were, or
even still are, corrupt?_


wrote:
>
> > Somebody above (forgive me for not remembering who; I get this list
> > as a digest) said that she didn't like the Weasley twins, Gred-and-
> > Forge.
>
> That was me.  No, I really don't care for the twins at all, although
> I do appreciate their kindness to Harry.  But I can't help it.  I
> simply _loathe_ practical jokes, and pranks, and pranksters.
>
> Well...all except for those named "Eric Oppen," that is.

Or Robert A. Heinlein, writing as "Lazarus Long" in _The Notebooks of
Lazarus Long._  I don't have the text in front of me, and my copy's about to
fall apart *snif* but ISTR that he said that a practical joker's wit should
be rewarded appropriately.  Staking out on an anthill should be reserved
only for the true masters of the art.
>
> > It occurs to me that they _might_ be prime candidates for the role
> > of Next Evil Overlord.  I've never been fond of practical jokers---
> > remember, Batman's _worst_ and most frequent enemy is called the
> > Joker.  Sure, they're popular and well-liked _now,_ but apparently
> > so was Tom (Lord Voldemort)Riddle when _he_ was at Hogwarts.
>
> Ah, and you will notice that both Tom ("I Am Lord Voldemort") Riddle
> *and* "Gred-and-Forge" have been known to play word games with their
> own names.
>
> Coincidence?  Oooooh, I don't *think* so.
>
> > I'm not saying that they _will_ turn evil---I'm just saying that the
> > possibility is definitely there...
>
> At this point, I'd call it a well-nigh canonical certainty.

I think a lot would depend on how _they_ react when the joke is on them?
This would be a real clue to their characters...if they can laugh just as
loudly when they've been the victims of a practical joke, there's plenty of
hope for them still.
>
> Barb, on the other hand, remains unconvinced:
>
> > Plus, if pranks were a sign of basic inner rottenness, it is
> > doubtful that JKR would have related Sirius' youthful indiscretions,
> > which make him look far worse than the twins (Snape could have been
> > killed).  And yet, he's just a peach of a guy now.
>
> Indeed, it is quite clear that JKR labors under the sad delusion that
> practical jokes are <shudder> funny.  I do believe, in fact, that
> she's even been suckered into believing that they are fundamentally
> good-humored.  "No harm in it, honest."  "It's all in fun."  "What's
> the matter, can't take a joke?"
>
> Bah.
>
> Of course, *we* know that in actuality, the practical joke is a
> particularly vile and passive-aggressive form of sadism which
> operates by forcing its victims to actively *collude* in their own
> degradation by pressuring them to swallow down humiliation with a
> shaky laugh and a strained smile.  *We* know that prank-pulling is
> really nothing more than a form of bullying which hides its true
> malice behind an unconvincing mask of jollity and good-humor.  *We*
> know that there is really nothing in the least bit amusing or good-
> natured about the practical joke, that far to the contrary, it is
> just one of the many means by which the socially popular assert their
> dominance over their less charismatic peers.
>
Oh, well said, well said!  This post is going into my permanent archives!

*claps vigorously*

It's funny, isn't it...I seldom ever see practical jokes played in the SCA,
a medieval-reenactment organizaton I'm involved in.  We take courtesy and
manners seriously...and many of us can and do participate in fairly-serious
mock-medieval-tournament combat.  Prank the wrong person, and you may be
called to answer for it, either in front of the group's authorities, or on
the field of honor.  Or, in extreme cases, to a Court of Chivalry (sort of
our version of a court-martial; very seldom convened).

> But apparently JKR doesn't.  And since she's writing the books, not
> us, the pranksters get to be the canonical Good Guys.
>
> Pah.
>
> I know that I, for one, *detest* practical jokers.  My hatred for
> them runs all the way to my very marrow; I will bitterly resent them
> until the end of time; I will...

Considering what happened to you at summer camp, I not only can't blame you
a bit, but I can say that if that had happened to me, the Authorities at
that camp would have soon wished they'd lined those little b*tches up
against the nearest wall and shot them...my dad was a lawyer, my mom was a
harridan when she got mad, and _neither_ of them would have sat still for
that for one second.  If my mom had caught those little _porci ex grege
diaboli,_ (swine from the devil's herd) in the act, she'd have probably sat
down, explained to them (speaking very slowly and clearly and using diagrams
and hand puppets) why what they were doing was wrong...and then taken a
baseball bat and made them think they'd died and been reincarnated as the
Anvil Chorus.

>
> > If anything, it's folks who carry grudges to the nth degree that
> > consistently get painted as evil in the HP books, not pranksters.

I don't carry grudges to the "nth degree," but I like to say that I suffer
from Corsican Alzheimer's, where you forget everything but a grudge.  :}
>
> <Elkins blinks, then looks away from the computer screen, suddenly
> terribly preoccupied with the apparently difficult task of lighting
> her cigarette>
>
>
> Actually, I'd say that it's not so much grudge-holding as *envy* that
> is the Grand Sin of the Potterverse.  Holding grudges is certainly
> bad, but envy (itself often one of the underlying reasons for the
> grudge-holding) seems to me to be the Potterverse's real corrupting
> force.  Its effects on Snape are obvious, but there's also Crouch Jr.,
> whose hatred of the other DEs seems to be primarily motivated by his
> bitter envy of their relatively suffering-free lives, and Draco
> Malfoy, whose envy of Harry seems at times to be pushing him to
> something close to *derangement,* let alone Darkness.  And while
> Pettigrew has never 'fessed up to envy as a prime motivating factor
> in his betrayal of the Marauders -- preferring to stick closely to
> the Cowardice Defense -- I think that most readers assume that envy
> played a not-inconsiderable role there, as well.

Not to mention Voldemort...he probably envied the daylights out of the other
students with their intact families.  Not that I can lay my hand on my heart
and say that I blame him for this, but letting it sour and corrupt him to
the extent that it apparently did...face it, nobody goes from being
handsome, popular, charismatic Tom M. Riddle, Head Boy of Hogwarts, to that
_thing_ we saw at the Little Hangleton graveyard without a _lot_ of effort.
He could have taken all sorts of lovely positions in the wizarding world
(the Ministry of Magic, just for starters) but instead, he embarked on this
quest for _power._  If he had been content with what he was and who he was,
instead of being warped out of true by envy, would he have even considered
doing what he had to do to gain the power he gained?

Of course, ol' Voldie's sort of a standing warning against _most_ of the
Seven Deadlies, except for Gluttony and Lust.

>
> I find myself wondering when Hermione's going to have to stare down
> envy.

Either when one of her two pals starts dating seriously, and she is no
longer _the_ Girl in their lives ("What?  You told _her_ that...and not
me?") or when she's faced for the first time in her life with real, serious
competition in the academic line.