FLIRTIAC -- What's In A Name? -- Draco -- Envy and EEWWWWWer

[ssk7882]

No: HPFGUIDX 35015

Tabouli wrote:

> Ahaaaaa, now this brings back my other (more outlandish 
> (subversive, Elkins?) but nonetheless thought-provoking) shipping 
> theory... FLIRTIAC (Filch's Lover Is Regretting Transformation Into 
> A Cat). 

Outlandish?  Subversive?  Nonsense!  FLIRTIAC is *overwhelmingly* 
implied by canon.  Indeed, were I ever to abandon the liminal 
pleasures of the shoreline for the absolutism of the wide-open sea, 
FLIRTIAC would be my vessel of choice.  It is the only ship on which 
I have ever so much as considered booking passage.  

For now, though, I am content to sit here on my rock at the tideline, 
singing merrily to myself and luring only the occasional sailor to 
his doom.


And speaking of people who love cats, Catlady wrote:

> It is to be hoped that Malcolm is from an old Slytherin family, so
> he understands (from parents or older siblings telling him) that 
> Gryffindors and Slytherins hate each other, so being booed by the 
> Gryffindors is only typical Gryffindor nasty behavior...

It is to be hoped, indeed!  (And how I love you, Catlady, for using 
that construction!)

> JKR surely intended "Malcolm Baddock" (MAL... BAD...) to be a 
> Slytherin name.

<laughs>  Oh, I'm sure you're right.  Ah, yes, poor little Mal Bad, 
son of Perfidius Baddock and his second wife, the lovely (if cold-
hearted) Nefaria, not a drop of muggle blood in those veins, nursed 
on unicorn blood and virgin's milk cocktails, cut his first tooth on 
a disobedient House Elf, cast his first hex at the tender age of 
five....

<brightly>

Hey, but don't worry about Malcolm Baddock.  He can make choices just 
like the rest of us.  Right?

<snort>

Ah, what's in a name?  What's in a name indeed?


Olly provided definitive proof that although Gred-and-Forge, like
Tom ("I Am Lord Voldemort") Riddle, have been known to play word 
games with their own names, they are nonetheless _not_ destined
to become Evil Overlords:

> A friend and I went through a whole heap of the character names to 
> see if any more of them could do it and the best we came up with 
> for Gred and Forge was...
> 
> Seedy Elf War and Eyesore Waggle. :)  I dont think either of them 
> would be a huge problem.

Nooooo...no, I think that you must be right.  "Eyesore Waggle" lacks 
that special Evil Overlord cache.  The world is definitely safe from 
the twins.

Thanks, Olly.  I'll rest much easier at night now.

But you know, I was thinking about Riddle and his pretentions, and
I found myself wondering: just who *were* those teenaged "intimates"  
of his who had actually agreed to call him "Lord Voldemort," anyway?  
 
Can you really imagine a fifteen-year-old Slytherin being willing to 
call even a very charismatic and talented peer "Lord Voldemort?"  I 
mean, without sniggering?

My theory is that *all* of Riddle's close friends had come up with 
similarly ridiculous and pretentious anagrams for their names, and
that they used them as nicknames within their little clique.  There
was actually a "Prince Nephridior" as well, you know, and a "Regulus 
Vindex," and an "Eat Me, Calliope."  (Old Eat Me always was kind of 
an odd duck.)

Of course, upon their leaving Hogwarts, Riddle simply *had* to hunt 
them all down and kill them.  There was just no way around it.  But 
that was okay with him, really, because you see, unlike Severus 
Snape, Tom Riddle really never *had* liked any of the members of his 
Old Slytherin Gang.  ;-)


Catlady, again:

> I want to believe that Draco is an intelligent child, altho' he 
> (alas) does not act intelligent while feuding with Harry. 

No, he doesn't generally, does he?  It's disappointing, that -- much 
in the same way that his subtle-as-a-brick-in-your-face father Lucius 
is disappointing.  I think that I'd like it much better, really, if 
Harry had a brighter rival in Draco.

I *did* think, though, that Draco's choice of the 'Densaugeo' curse 
in his impromptu duel with Harry in GoF was quite witty.  It 
surprises me that no one ever seems to bring that one up when they've 
just gone scouring canon for proof (some proof!  *any* proof!  
please!) of Draco's intellect.


Eric wrote:

> Of course, ol' Voldie's sort of a standing warning against _most_ 
> of the Seven Deadlies, except for Gluttony and Lust.

Ah, but surely he has Nagini to represent his Gluttony!

And as for Lust...hey, I know!  How about we modify "Even EEWWWWWWer" 
just a bit?  If we claim that in addition to wanting a male heir of 
his very own sprung from Lily Potter's magical loins, Voldemort also 
just plain *wanted* Lily Potter's magical loins (for the, er, usual 
reasons), then we could ascribe to him *all* of the Deadly Seven.  

We could call this new theory "So EEEEWWWWWWWer it's in the 
SEEEEEWWWWWWer," perhaps.  


> > I find myself wondering when Hermione's going to have to stare 
> > down envy.

> Either when one of her two pals starts dating seriously, and she is 
> no longer _the_ Girl in their lives ("What? You told _her_ 
> that...and not me?") or when she's faced for the first time in her 
> life with real, serious competition in the academic line.

Ooooooh!  I hope it's the latter.  Seriously, I'd love to see that 
plotline.


-- Elkins, thinking she might just hear some human voices out there, 
and so hastily assembling the scuba gear...