The Cat Princess, Violence Doesn't Pay...

[Tabouli]

No: HPFGUIDX 35383

Felicia:
> Mrs Norris gets my vote, it depends what you call a wizarding character after all,  Argus Filch is a squib so can't do wizzarding stuff.and I don't think Mrs Norris is an animagus (well there 's an idea - probably at least a year old on this list - Tabouli probably thinks she is a part-time Severus Snape clone ;-))

No, no, no... you obviously haven't been reading the FLIRTIAC posts!  I, Tabouli, think Mrs Norris is not an Animagus (who would have control over her shape transformations) but a human being under a curse or enchantment, like the Frog Prince (the Cat Princess?)

My favorite theory is that she's Filch's lover, cursed by her husband when he caught them together (hm... maybe Filch should try kissing her!  Or, as the fairy tale actually went, throwing her against the wall...), hence F.L.I.R.T.I.A.C. (Filch's Lover Is Regretting Transformation Into A Cat), but it could be something else.  Perhaps she's a spy sought by Voldemort, who is secretly being hidden by Dumbledore disguised as the caretaker's cat, where she can exercise her spying skills for his benefit.  Perhaps she's Mrs Figg (though I hope not - no more unregistered Animagi *please* JKR...).

If, of course, FLIRTIAC is correct, the person who, under great stress, finally does magic late in life would probably be Filch, of course.  Maybe someone will threaten to AK his beloved Mrs Norris, and in a last, frantic, furious burst of energy, he casts aside his Quikspell handbook and gets it right at last, turning her back into a yellow-eyed, thin woman in late middle age, with dust coloured hair...

Elkins:
> She thrashes wildly for a few moments then freezes, staring in 
disbelief at the bloodied owl feathers -- the bloodied and yet 
monstrously *familiar* owl feathers -- from which her bonds would 
seem to be crafted.

"I--" she gasps, a look of sick horror slowly spreading across her 
face.  "Errol?"  And then a hoarse, a disbelieving whisper: "*Pig*?"

"NO!" she screams, struggling madly to free herself from the remains 
of these cruelly- and gratuitously-sacrificed minor characters.  
"NO!  Oh my God, Tabouli, what have you *done?*  MURDERER! 
MADWOMAN!!  FIEND!!!!"<

(Tabouli casts aside her captain's uniform and dons a hood and swirling black cape, as worn by all good Evil Overladies, and practises her "Bwa ha ha"s).  Sometimes, she sneers in oracular tones, it takes a personal sacrifice to teach bloodthirsty ambush supporters that Violence Doesn't Pay.  An eye for an eye, FEATHERBOAS!  Bwa ha ha ha ha!


Elkins (quoting Cindy):
>> What we have here is a sneak attack. I can't really deny that Lupin 
>> has Edge.
>
>'Sneak attack?'  But Edge is *good,* Cindy.  Edge is really really *good.*

Edge is definitely good.  Bland, nice, heroic types... pah!

Tabouli
(taking out her PACMAN badge (Perfectly Angelic Characters Make Awful Fiction) and pinning it proudly on her swirling black cloak)


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