SHIP: Cupid's Snitch and Cupid's Quaffle

[ssk7882]

No: HPFGUIDX 35577

"Pay close attention now," says Elkins, jostling the lever of the 
remote control in her hand as she squints out to sea at the tiny 
golden jetski skirting dangerously close to the jagged off-shore 
rocks.  "Because this is the really tricky part."

The unseasonably bright February sun glints off of the chrome of the 
Coast Guard Cruiser plowing its way through the waves towards the 
jetski.  It throws the detailing on the side of a fast-moving 
pleasure yacht into sharp relief, and casts a dull sheen on the inner 
tube bobbing innocently nearby.

"The thing that you must understand," says Elkins, frowning in 
concentration as these small craft begin to converge, "is that 
everything about this scenario is just utterly and completely 
*wrong.*  Characterization.  Wrong.  Motivation.  Wrong.  Spirit of 
Ca--"

She draws in a sharp breath as the jetski angles its way between two 
low rocks, barely visible beneath the waves, then lets it out, very 
slowly.

"Spirit of Canon," she repeats hoarsely, her hands now shaking 
slightly on the controls.  "Spirit of Canon.  Oh.  So.  *Wrong.*"

The Coast Guard Cruiser picks up speed as it nears its prey, weaving 
to one side to avoid the low-lying rocks, while the pleasure yacht, 
its passengers staring enthralled through their Omniscopes at the 
name 'Cupid's Snitch' engraved on the side of the jetski, veers a bit 
closer to the reef.  Elkins leans forward, hunched over her controls.

"But," she continues, a fine sheen of sweat now appearing on her 
forehead.  "But, but, but.  *But.*  If you combine all of these wrong 
elements just so, and then get the timing juuuuuuuuuuuuuust right..."

With a sudden convulsive motion, she slams the joystick away from 
her, while simultaneously jabbing down hard on the turbo button.  The 
tiny golden jetski surges forward, sending up a fine spray as it 
darts between the two larger and more cumbersome vessels, whose 
crewmembers have only a second to stare after it in amazement before 
they realize that they are now set on a collision course.  Their 
barked orders and panicked screams can only be faintly heard from 
shore as cruiser and yacht desperately maneuver to avoid one another, 
only to batter their hulls to pieces moments later on the 
treacherous off-shore rocks.  The inner tube flies into the air,
landing only a little worse for the wear on a large flat rock several 
yards away.  The jetski darts merrily off, out to open sea.

Elkins exhales hard and leans back against her rock, allowing the 
controls to fall from her hands.  After a moment, she turns to the 
younger mermaid sitting on the rock beside her and smiles.

"And *that,*" she concludes, with grim satisfaction.  "Is what we 
call the 'Wrong Ski Feint.'"  

"Would you believe," she asks, giggling suddenly as she gestures out 
at the jetski now bobbing its way across the waves.  "Would you 
*believe* that some people actually think that I'm out there riding 
*around* on that ridiculous thing?"

"But master," the younger mermaid objects, her voice muffled from 
deep within her scuba mask.  "Master..."

Elkins frowns.  "What?"

"I thought that we were supposed to be...well, you know.  Singing."

"*Singing*?"  Elkins snorts and rolls her eyes.  "*Singing*!  Oh, 
Grasshopper!  Sweetheart!  *Please!*  *This* is the twenty-first 
*century*!"

The tiny golden jetski flits off into the distance, soon to be lost 
once more to sight.

===============

Yes.  Erm.  Well.

Oh, dear.  

You see, naturally I am very touched -- truly touched and deeply 
flattered -- that so many people liked Cupid's Snitch so much, 
but...um...

Well, really now.  It hardly seems *plausible,* does it?  And surely 
someone must have noticed that every single direct canonical 
quotation cited in that message as "evidence" for the theory was 
really just cut-and-pasted directly from a previous 
C.U.P.I.D.S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R message -- yea, down to the very 
ellipses?

I don't know.  I really just don't know.  I pour my heart, my soul, 
my very *essence* into my Fourth Man theory, I offer *irreproachable* 
evidence that it is canonically RIGHT and TRUE, I beg and whine and 
wheedle and cajole, but does anyone believe me?  Nooooooooo.  But 
then I toss something like Cupid's Snitch into the air, and everyone 
leaps onto their broomsticks and starts riding hell-bent-for-leather
after it.  I don't get it.  I really just don't get it.

But I do feel that I owe a huge apology to Captain Charis Julia.  
Sorry, Captain. I meant only to poke playfully at your inner tube, 
not to send it spinning off into the eddies like that.  And while you 
were away taking your exams, too!  Here's hoping that they all went 
well.


Cap'n Charis Julia of the Good Ship C.U.P.I.D.S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. boomed 
out (while scowling and glaring menacingly at mutinous sailors):

> Elkins where did you come up with all of that? 

<Elkins nods respectfully at Captain Charis, then looks up 
innocently, an effect somewhat ruined by the suspicious twitching at 
the corner of her mouth>

Why, from my strictly irreproachable extrapolations from canon, of 
course.  SIR!

> Astounding! I take my hat of to you, really I do!  Unfortunately 
> however I don't buy a word of it. 

No.  Neither do I, not for a moment.  But it sure was fun while it 
lasted, wasn't it?

> Cupid's Snitch does not explain what all these theories set out to 
> explain in the first place, namely why did Snape cross over to the 
> sunny side of the street after all?

Oh.  Right.  That old thing.  

Well, as to that, I'm a Georgian, myself.  (Or...at least I *think* I 
am.  But that's an entirely different snarl of threads.)  But Cupid's 
Snitch was never intended to address that issue at all.  Cupid's 
Snitch was a direct response to Cindy's plea for some extra 
motivation for Sirius' Prank, and for Sirius and Snape's mutual 
loathing -- preferably one that would somehow involve the Unknown 
Damsel Florence.  

Now personally, I don't think that any additional motivation for 
hatred between these two men other than what has already been 
provided by canon is in the least bit necessary.  It makes perfect 
sense to me that they never liked each other to begin with, that the 
potential lethality of the Prank was a matter of pure and simple 
thoughtlessness on Sirius' part, that Dumbledore's reaction 
infuriated and disillusioned young Severus, that his conviction that 
Black really always *had* been by nature a murderer was confirmed in 
his own mind by later events, and that what happened at the end of 
PoA did absolutely nothing to make either of the two men like each 
other any better.  Here I am in full agreement with Pippin and 
Charis: what canon has already given us seems like *more* than enough 
to account for their mutual antipathy.  To my way of thinking,
anyway.  

But apparently some people just aren't satisfied with all of that.  
They must have more -- more, more, more!  So Cupid's Snitch was my 
highly tongue-in-cheek attempt to Give The People What They Want, 
with a good deal of really sappy SHIPpiness thrown in, just for good 
measure.

I didn't really think that anyone was going to go *chasing* after the 
damned thing.


Cap'n Tabouli of the Good Ship L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S., showed admirable
restraint by starting off with the deliciously-understated comment:

> My main issues with it are character based (and therefore rather 
> subjective). 

<much laughter>

What, you mean to say that you *don't* think that Sirius would have 
trembled in fear at the prospect of Peter disapproving of his choice 
of date?  Or that the future Mrs. Lestrange would have gone skulking 
around behind the greenhouses to avoid exposure?  Or that she would 
have then gone trailing all puppy-dog-like after Severus, pestering 
him to teach her some really cool curses?  Why ever not?

Yes, of course the characterization is appalling.  But then, you 
couldn't honestly expect someone as perverse as I am to resist that 
temptation, now, could you?  Or to refrain from recasting the odious 
Lestranges as the post-Yule-Ball Ron and Hermione?  Or to allow to 
pass by unchecked the opportunity to raise the spectre of a 
non-gone-bad version of the Ever-So-Evil Mrs. Lestrange, padding 
around barefoot in her kitchen and baking cookies for the kiddies?  I 
mean, for heaven's sake, woman, do you think that I am made out of 
*stone*?  

But an awful lot of people seem to have really really *liked* Cupid's 
Snitch, and not as parody either, but as speculation (someone 
mentioned the possibility of putting it on the list of "predictions 
for Book Five," for example).  And that was...unexpected.  To say the 
least.

I'm beginning to suspect that Cupid's Snitch's appeal must have had 
something to do with that F.L.A.B.B.E.R.G.A.S.T.E.D. or 
L.O.S.T.L.I.V.E.S. aspect of the tale: many people do seem to find 
something about the notion of an Embittered-Due-To-Lack-of-Luck-
In-Love-With-Sirius-Black Florence Lestrange well-nigh irresistable.  
I think that we may be running into a bit of Sympathy for the Devil 
here, no?

So let's see if we can salvage Cupid's Snitch, shall we?  Is there a 
*defensible* version of this backstory that can (a) manage to retain 
the same appeal while (b) remaining sufficiently perverse to hold 
even my interest?

I think that there is.  We can call this one, er..."Cupid's 
Quaffle."  

Cupid's Quaffle allows the characters to behave more or less as 
themselves, while still (I hope) retaining the basic SHIPpiness and 
Sympathy-For-the-Devil-ness that made people like Cupid's Snitch so 
much.  And, of course, it has every bit as much direct canonical 
support <snicker> as Cupid's Snitch had.

As an added bonus, I've also thrown in a bit of backstory to provide 
additional answers to such perennial favorites as "Why was everyone, 
even Dumbledore, so willing to believe that Sirius Black was a mad 
killer?" and "Why did Sirius get so very hysterical when Peter framed 
him?" 

(I haven't the slightest idea *why* people always want more answers 
to these questions, mind -- again, I think that canon provides plenty 
of answers to both of them just fine as it is -- but people always 
*do* seem to want more reasons, so Cupid's Quaffle is happy to 
provide.)  

Cupid's Quaffle also accomodates LOLLIPOPSers by allowing for a 
reading in which Snape's relationship to Florence is purely platonic -
- thus permitting him to remain creepily and solely romantically 
fixated on Lily Evans, if such is the reader's desire.  

And finally -- But wait! There's more! -- Cupid's Quaffle can also 
allow for a (slightly altered) rendition of Tabouli's marvellous 
Seduction of Barty Crouch.  This is because as far as I can tell, I 
may well be young Barty's *only* true fan on this entire list.
I am therefore thrilled to support anything that might make him more 
sympathetic to other readers.  

So here is Cupid's Quaffle.  Cupid's Quaffle permits Sirius to be 
cool, handsome, charismatic, popular and impulsive, and it allows 
Florence, as the future Mrs. Lestrange, to be passionate, obsessive, 
tenacious and defiant.

There is, however, one very important point of characterization on 
which Cupid's Quaffle absolutely depends, and that is this:

At the age of fifteen, Florence was *not* Dead Sexy.

Tabouli wrote:

> More likely her loyalty to Slytherin would preclude such a 
> relationship in the first place (unless fuelled by some sinister, 
> manipulative ulterior motive), or, if his Dead Sexiness was too 
> much to resist, she would have seduced him, cool, sultry and 
> unashamed. And in public, in front of the whole of Slytherin *and* 
> Gryffindor, if necessary to prove her point. 

At twenty-two, perhaps.  But at fifteen?  Naaaah.

Because fifteen-year-old Florence isn't either sultry or seductive.  I
mean, think about it.  Do we really believe the Mrs. Lestrange we see
in Pensieve as someone who was considered desirable as an adolescent?
Does a fifteen year old girl who was in the habit of wrapping the 
boys around her little finger through her seductive and feminine 
wiles really grow up to become a woman who curses two people into 
a state of insanity out of sheer enraged frustration that they can't 
tell her what she wants to know?

Oh, I don't think so.

No, I don't think that she was Dead Sexy at all in her youth.  Far 
from it.  In fact, I think that what we were looking at there in 
Pensieve must have been one of Tabouli's favorite types of people: an 
Ex-Victim Turned Bully.  

So in Cupid's Bludger, Dead Sexy Florence is replaced by late-bloomer 
Florence.  Florence, who values the opinion of her male Slytherin 
friends so highly because she just doesn't *have* any female friends 
(all of the other Slytherin girls in her year are really caught up in 
this whole "Marry High, Marry Young, Breed Pureblooded Children For 
the Cause" schtick, see, while Flo's a rabid feminist).  Florence,
who hasn't yet learned that charm she'll use later in life to take 
all the frizz out of her hair and make it all lustrous and shiny (an 
entire bottle of that Sleekeasy junk would surely do the trick, but 
that's *far* too much work for everyday, and besides, fifteen-year-
old Flo would rather *die* than suck up to the Patriarchy like 
that).  Florence, who doesn't laugh at the boys' jokes unless she
really thinks that they're funny.  Florence, whose heavy-lidded eyes 
strike all of the boys her age as weird-looking and strange, and Not 
At All Attractive.  (Yes, they are mad.  They're also only fifteen 
years old, so they haven't yet developed good taste.)

In short, while Florence may be passionate, obsessive, tenacious, 
defiant, and proud to the point of self-destruction, one thing she 
*isn't* is considered a "good catch."

So why is cool, charismatic, handsome, popular, impulsive (but not 
always terribly sensitive to other people's feelings) Sirius Black 
snogging with her behind the greenhouses?

Well, because as Dead Sexy as he may be, Sirius Black is still a 
fifteen year old boy.  And Florence is *willing.*  And at the age of 
fifteen, willing is very very important.

Oh, now, just stop that, Sirius fans.  He doesn't *mean* to be toying 
with the poor girl's affections, all right?  He just isn't 
particularly thinking.  You *know* how good he can be at that "not 
particularly thinking" thing that he does.

And besides, it's not as if he dislikes her or anything.  He thinks 
old Flo's a pretty good egg, for a Slytherin.  He enjoys her company 
well enough.  She's clever and opinionated and sort of interesting, 
and he has no clue that she's actually kinda twisted.  But it's 
hardly Twoo Wuv.  It's not even True Love.  It's not anything even 
close to that.  Not by a long shot.  Not at all.

So Sirius isn't meeting poor Florence behind the greenhouses because 
it's a big clandestine Romeo and Juliet type thing.  No, he's meeting 
her there because that's just what you *do* when you meet girls for 
little adolescent snogging sessions at Hogwarts.  That's where 
everyone goes.  It's just what's done.  And he's not exactly 
*hiding* it from his friends.  He just hasn't thought to mention it, 
that's all.  After all, why would he?  It's not like he's in *love* 
with the girl or anything.  They're not even dating.  They're just 
kinda messing around for kicks every now and then, that's all.  And 
besides, it's not like she's the *only* girl he ever takes back 
there.

But Florence thinks it's serious.

<pause for wince>  

No.  Er...well, you know what I mean.  She doesn't get it.  She, too, 
is only fifteen years old, remember, and she's led a very sheltered 
life.  So it doesn't occur to her that meeting someone every once in 
a while for smoochies behind the greenhouses, while never actually 
being seen with them in public, doesn't constitute a real 
relationship.  As far as she's concerned, this is It.  She's found 
it.  True Love.  'Till Death Do We Part Love.  It's the first grand 
passion of her young life, and it's a *secret* passion to boot, 
because she really *is* keeping it a secret from her Slytherin buds.  
It's not just that they wouldn't approve (although they wouldn't).  
It's more that...well, it's *hers.*  It's *her* Grand Passion.  It's 
special.  It's secret.  And besides, it's more romantic that way.

Yeah, she's young.  And she's also a tad obsessive.  As well as 
loyal, passionate, committed, slightly prone to self-delusion and 
self-aggrandizement...but then, we already knew all that about her, 
didn't we?

So that's the deal.  There they are, Sirius and Florence, kissing 
behind the greenhouses. Nosy Bertha Jorkins -- the original "Cupid's 
Snitch" -- catches them at it and begins to make mock...and it is 
*Florence* who hexes her, the instant that her back is turned.

Well, of course it is!  It must have been Florence all along.  After 
all, would Sirius really hex some girl for teasing him for *kissing* 
someone, of all things?  I doubt it.  But Florence would, because 
she's proud and prickly and vindictive and (at this stage in her 
life) insecure, and she cannot *bear* being mocked.  And besides, she 
*likes* hexing people.  

So Florence hexes Bertha.  Sirius, alarmed by the suddenly feral 
expression on the face of his ordinarily tranquil-seeming companion --
 not to mention her apparent readiness to keep *on* hexing Bertha, 
even though she's certainly more than made her point already -- 
snatches her wand out of her hands and is still standing there
holding it when Bertha finally manages to recover enough to turn 
around to see what has happened.  Bertha goes running off to 
Dumbledore, squealing about how Sirius Black hexed her when all she 
*did* was tease him for kissing Florence behind the greenhouses, and 
pretty soon everyone in the entire school knows the story.  

And so you see, this is yet another reason that Dumbledore didn't 
find it all that hard to believe that Sirius Black was a Big Bad Dark 
wizard, and a raving murderer to boot.  Just look at how he behaved 
at the age of fifteen!  Clearly bad-tempered. Clearly capable of 
nastiness.  And this is also part of the reason that Sirius
began laughing madly when Peter left him there in the street, wand 
out and dead muggles everywhere.  It wasn't merely because his best 
friends had been murdered, it was all his fault, he'd just failed 
miserably in his attempt to avenge their deaths, and now he was going 
to be framed for the crime itself.  It wasn't merely because little
Peter had just snookered him with such utterly unexpected 
ruthlessness.  It wasn't merely because he was in such a completely 
hopeless situation.  No!  One might *think* that all this would 
be ample cause for wild laughter, but apparently it still isn't 
enough, so here you go: Sirius was *also* laughing because _he'd been 
had this way before._

What's that?  Why did Sirius never try to set anyone straight on what 
*really* happened, you ask?  Well, because he's chivalrous, that's 
why.  Good Guys Don't Rat People Out -- and they especially don't rat 
*girls* out.  Besides, he's popular with the staff and with the 
Headmaster, so they'll probably cut him more slack than they'd cut
Florence. And also, he's feeling kind of guilty over the whole 
affair.  He's got some idea of how Florence's Slytherin buds are 
likely to react when they find out that she's been Consorting With 
the Enemy; the situation is made even worse by the fact that her 
parents are in prison <nod to Tabouli>; and since the wizarding world 
is so weirdly socially conservative, Reputation is still a big issue 
for girls.  So why compound poor Florence's problems by exposing her 
as some sort of hex maniac on top of all that?

He's also feeling guilty because he knows that he's going to have to 
stop seeing her.  

It was that look in her eyes, you see.  Kinda spooked him that did.  
He always thought she was okay, really, but now he thinks there's 
something...well, something very *wrong* with the girl.  He doesn't 
really want to have anything more to do with her.

Hmmm?  What's that, Charis?

Charis:

> And one more thing: Florence must have been a splendid actress. 
> Sirius was so into her and never realized she was heading right 
> down the path that leads to You—Know—Who's front door? 

"Hey, guys, I've got a great idea!  Let's make *Peter* the Secret-
Keeper!"

No, Florence was never a good actress.  But she didn't need to be.  
This is Sirius Black we're talking about, remember.  He didn't have a 
clue.

But now he does.  He starts avoiding her until she confronts him, and 
then he just explains that maybe they shouldn't, um, see each other.  
Anymore.

He's kind of uncomfortable.  Florence reads his tone as pity.  She is 
struck by her Grand Realization: this guy never loved her.  He wasn't 
even *using* her, which she could at least respect.  No.  No, he 
*pitied* her.  Those were *Sympathy Snogs* they were sharing back 
there behind the greenhouses.  

The rest of the story is pretty much the same.  Florence, Loved and 
Abandoned by Black, Becomes EnRaged, Goes After Severus, and Turns 
Evil Deatheater.  Love of Sirius Turns Lestrange Into Voldemort's 
Evil Servant.  And all of that.

And you know, Severus doesn't even have to have a crush on her in 
this version.  He can just feel protective of her, as a manifestation 
of House loyalty.  (Gryffindors are too *good* to be seen with our 
girls in public, are they?  Our girls are only suitable for seducing 
in *secret,* are they?)  But it still has the same effect on
Sirius: leading him to suspect that Snape was responsible all along 
for Florence's unfortunate Dark tendencies. 

Charis wrote:

> It goes against all my instincts to accept that Sirius had a 
> girlfriend that went Wrong and that's really what my objections 
> boil down to.

Yeah, it went against all of Sirius' instincts as well.  That's why 
he had to convince himself that it must have been Snape's Bad 
Influence all along.

So we get the same basic hostility, the same underlying subconscious 
motive for Sirius' Prank, the same "Sirius Black corrupted one of 
*our* girls" thing for Snape, and so forth.

Now we only need to jump ahead a year or so to get Tabouli's 
Seduction of Barty Crouch scenario.  

Tabouli wrote:

> Maybe Barty was a good, upstanding, brilliant young Slytherin who 
> had the promise to become one of the house's most upstanding 
> graduates until he fell into the clutches of Florence Lestrange-to-
> be, who preyed on him for reasons of her own (getting close to the 
> son of the powerful wizard tipped to be the future Minister 
> of Magic and avenging her parents against Barty Senior... see
> below).

Sounds good to me.  Why not?

Now that Florence has already gained a certain degree of notoriety as 
a Fast Girl, she figures: why not live up to the reputation?  Might 
as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb, right?  Besides, then 
maybe Sirius will be sorry that he cast her aside.  So she decides to 
become Dead Sexy Evil Scheming Black Widow Florence.

(SHIPper types should like this part, because it allows for Florence 
to come back from the summer hols a Changed Girl, with her hair all 
different and dressing all sexy and making the boys' jaws drop in 
amazement and all the rest of that rot.)

I like wicked older teen Florence seducing sickly neurasthenic little 
Momma's Boy Barty to avenge her parents.  That's very appealing 
indeed.  The only difference here is that she goes after Barty as a 
*sixth* year, not as a fifth year, and he's fourteen, not thirteen, 
when he falls into her clutches -- 'cause otherwise it's just plain 
*sick.*  

And of course, in this version of the tale, Bertha Jorkins isn't the 
one who exposes the affair to Daddy.  That was probably Lestrange, 
undoubtedly acting on Florence's own orders.  After all, as Cindy 
wrote:

> She wants Mr. Lestrange, a man who knows how to keep his mouth shut 
> and do what he is told. Mr. Lestrange is a SYCOPHANT (are hen-
> pecked men welcome in SYCOPHANT?).

Society of Yes-Men, Cowards, Ostriches, Passive-Aggressives...

Yup!  Yes, they are.  Hen-pecked men are almost always passive
-aggressive.  And even if Lestrange isn't, then he can still claim
SYCOPHANTS membership under the umbrella category of "Abject 
Neurotics."

We're really very inclusive that way.


Tabouli wrote:

> Little did both Crouch Senior know, his actions played right into 
> Florence's hands. Barty Junior abandoned his last hope of ever 
> pleasing his father and set to rebellion in earnest. As his years 
> at Hogwarts slipped by, he progressed from snogging Dark Ladies to 
> torturing first years, hexing Gryffindors, and serving teachers 
> cursed pumpkin juice.

Oh, yes.  Yes indeedy.  He also took to ripping the tags off of all 
of the mattresses.  *And* to jaywalking.  The poor little tyke.

Hey, I know!  We can call this part of Cupid's Quaffle:

F.O.R.L.O.R.N.B.A.R.T.E.M.I.U.S. 

Florence, On the Rebound, Lured Our Reluctant Naif Barty, Avenging 
Relations by Tempting to Evil Mother's Innocent and Unsuspecting Son.


Deal?


So, er, where's the canon?

<Elkins collapses into a fit of coughing>

Oh, dear.  Yes.  Please do excuse me.  Something just caught in my 
throat there for a moment.

Well, the canonical evidence for Cupid's Quaffle is much the same as 
the canonical evidence for Cupid's Snitch, really.  We have:


(1) Mrs. Lestrange's mysterious namelessness, combined with 
Florence's mysterious mention.

Charis wrote:

> I agree that there must be a reason Mrs Lestrange's first name is 
> omitted. It struck me as odd from the very first time I read the 
> book. 

It's because she's Florence, I'm tellin' ya.  Florence!  Even 
Tabouli's willing to go with this one.  She's just holding off on the 
whole Flo-Has-A-History-With-Sirius thing.  But as to that...


(2) Sirius' strange omission of Mrs. Lestranges first *or* maiden 
name when he lists her as a member of Snape's old gang, the extent to 
which she seems "glossed."  

Tabouli wrote:

> You mean, rather like the way Snape snarls all the time about James 
> the arrogant Quidditch star and how much Harry resembles him, yet 
> avoids any mention of Lily? Or the way Hagrid gives away that 
> there's a very good reason for Snape to hate Harry and then hastily 
> changes the subject (though everyone else is happy to attribute 
> Snape's feelings to jealousy of James' Quidditch performance, a 
> well-known chick impressor)?? Or the way that Lily, though
> Harry's mother and therefore bound to be significant in some way 
> (as JKR has admitted), has been almost totally glossed over so far, 
> whereas James has had quite a lot of air time??? :-D

Well...yes, actually.  Almost *precisely* like that.  

So does that mean that you really *are* on board with the whole 
Sirius-Has-Some-History-With-Mrs.-Lestrange thing then, Tabouli? 

(Hey, have I ever once claimed *not* to believe that Snape had a 
thing for Lily?  No.  I have not.  You know why?  Because I'm almost 
certain that he did.  But that doesn't mean that I'm going clambering 
aboard that ship, mind.  Just 'cause I believe it to be canonical 
truth, that doesn't mean that I have to *like* it.)  

Charis agreed that it struck her as strange, but wrote:

> But it seems to me that it's more JKR trying to hide something than 
> Sirius. He passes by the name too flippantly for me to think it 
> means anything to him. . . . Sirius just ticks off the Lestranges 
> along with the rest of them. They're not even significantly placed: 
> not first, not last, just middle.

Which is equally suspicious, don't you think?  If not even more so?  
Given that what he's just been talking about there is Barty Crouch's 
trial, that he doesn't even *mention* the fact that the Lestranges 
were young Crouch's co-defendents (assuming, for the moment, that 
they really were), but instead just ticks them off, burying them 
right in the middle of the list?

He's glossing, I tell ya!  Glossing!  There's something there he 
doesn't want to think about!  Even Cindy's with me on this one!


(3) Dumbledore's Pensieve.  

Charis points out that Dumbledore's "But why, Bertha, why?" line 
there is *current* dialogue -- he's not saying it to Bertha in the 
Pensieve, but to himself/Harry, in the present day.  And she is quite 
right.  I had misremembered that scene.  Mea culpa.  

But surely this provides even *more* support for Cupid's Quaffle!  It 
means that we no longer need to stress Dumbledore's insight or his 
near-prophetic abilities or any of the sort of nonsense that so 
annoys both Cindy and Charis in order to view his regret there as 
twofold -- no, sorry, as *threefold!*  

He is speaking in the present day, having just dragged Harry back 
from the Lestrange/Crouch sentencing.  So it requires no great feat 
of foresight for his weariness and his regret there to be on behalf 
not only of Bertha, but also of Florence *and,* as Tabouli suggests, 
of young Barty himself as well.

The more regrets the merrier, that's what I always say.

And as additional canonical support for Cupid's Bludger, I will also 
offer:

(4) Sirius' evident sympathy for young Crouch in "Padfoot Returns," 
and his obvious horror at the boy's supposed "death."  He speaks of 
the event "dully" and "bitterly," and he doesn't look "remotely 
amused now."

"For a moment, the deadened look in Sirius' eyes became more 
pronounced than ever, as though shutters had closed behind them."

It's not just that he feels particular sympathy for Barty as a fellow 
victim of elder Crouch's rather dubious grasp of due process.  It's 
not just that the subject recalls unpleasant memories of Azkaban.  
No!  It's *also* that he suspects that Barty was taken in by scary 
Florence...just as *he* might have been.  It's a There But For the 
Grace of God thing.  And a guilt thing as well, for really, would any 
of that have happened at all, if he hadn't treated Florence in such a
cavalier fashion in the first place?  Who can say?


Pippin wants to know:

> But Florence...honestly, what kind of name is that for a Death 
> Eater?

Aw, come on.  It's a *perfect* name for a Death Eater.  You can't 
really expect every last one of them to have a name like "Nefaria" 
or "Maledicta" or "Perfidia" or "Morticia," can you?

Besides, that's probably a large part of how she got so very 
fanatical.  She was overcompensating.  Being a Death Eater Named Flo 
is kind of like being a Boy Named Sue, you know.  It makes you 
*Tough.*


Cindy declared herself:

> (tempted to ask Elkins to sort out the Gleam in Dumbledore's Eye, 
> once and for all)

Oh, that?  That one's easy.

It was just a trick of the light.


Charis, do please tell us about E.L.G.I.N.S.M.A.R.B.L.E.S.  Are they 
anything to do with my *own* marbles?  Because I think that I've 
misplaced those somewhere...


-- Elkins