Bangers, Life Debts (WASBangers and their bangs )

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 35604

Jake Storm wrote:

> What if, just a conjecture here, it wasn't just up to Dumbledore 
when Snape 
> came back to the Light? What if Dumbledore was ready to give the 
man another 
> chance, remembering the bright young man that he'd help to teach 
years 
> before, but somebody else, say Moody or that straight-shooting 
Frank 
> Longbottom, declared that they'd not beleive that Snape wasn't a 
double 
> until he'd given them something wildly juicy?
> 
> That gives us Dumbledore as good-hearted believer in the light side 
of human 
> nature, plus all the family fun of a bloody ambush!

Ah, this is just perfect!  Jake has dreamed up a fabulous ambush 
compromise that makes perfect sense and, as an added bonus, is 
actually based in canon.  

Maybe Dumbledore might believe Snape for no good reason, but Moody 
would have none of it.  In fact, we see in GoF that Moody doesn't 
trust Snape at all, in the Pensieve or 13 years later.  So that gives 
us a really great Big Bang scene in which Snape is weeping, crawling 
on the floor, apologizing, begging to join Dumbledore. Dumbledore is, 
uh, twinkling. But Moody is there, his two normal eyes swiveling 
wildly around in his head, his itchy trigger finger stroking his 
wand, restraining himself from turning Snape into a hedgehog and 
bouncing him around the office.  It is Moody who *demands* DE corpses 
as the price of admission.  Dumbledore is a Tough strong wizard, but 
he goes along with Moody, not wishing to be turned into a hedgehog 
himself.  Nobody, but nobody, is willing to tangle with Alastor Moody.

Oh, yes, that works.  Jake, consider yourself a full-fledged crew 
member in good standing of Big Bang, including an extra-large bunk, a 
sturdy cushioned chair in the mess hall, and an extra-helping of -- 
what else? -- bangers.  This just *feels* right -- Jake Storm 
*belongs* with the Big Bangers because he has a really dramatic, 
cool, Big Bang-sounding name and all.

Pardon?  What's that?  Jake never actually declared himself a Big 
Banger? He was just trying to help because he likes bloody ambushes?  

Oh, I see. My, this is awkward.  All right.  If Jake is going over to 
LOLLIPOPS or George, then I don't want to know about it, OK?

Well, um, MJollner and I can sail this ship quite nicely by 
ourselves, thank-you-very-much.  We won't be able to steer very well, 
so we'll just cruise aimlessly.  If we happen to ram any of your 
ships or Coast Guard vessels, don't take it personally.  

Judy wrote:

> Wait a minute, Cindy!  Didn't you propose that Snapes owes 
> *Dumbledore* a life debt?  Because Dumbledore could have killed 
him, 
> but spared him instead?  I thought that was Mercy, or Mercy II. 

Life debt to Lily, Life debt to Dumbledore.  Let's face it -- both 
are so *lame*.  But no, I was remembering my original humiliation 
correctly the first time.  My initial description of Mercy was as 
follows:

>In this theory, Lily does something truly heroic to 
> save Snape's life while they are at Hogwarts.  Um, perhaps Sirius, 
> prankster that he is, is about to do some dastardly thing to Snape, 
> like drag Snape in the shower and wash his greasy hair.  (Why, oh 
> why, is Sirius always the heavy?)  Lily learns of this and, having 
> figured out that Snape is half-dementor and will dissolve in water, 
> intervenes and saves Snape's life.  And we know what happens when a 
> wizard saves another wizard's life:  Snape is in her debt.  

Yeah, it was that bad.  ::hangs head in shame::  Can we just let 
Mercy die a dignified, quiet death now?  Please?

Kimberly wrote (letting me down gently on Big Bang and Ambush):

> But if D were all excited about taking out enemy soldiers, why 
would 
> he praise Harry for sparing Pettigrew?  I don't have an answer for 
> that, but it seems strange.

I think Dumbledore praises Harry because he doesn't have any other 
choice.  His other option is to scream, "Geez, Harry, thanks a whole 
freakin' lot!  You let a murder get away scot free, you doomed your 
godfather to live life on the run, and you did it *knowing* that the 
murderer was going to help Voldemort return.  Everything that happens 
from this point forward is blood on *your* hands; I hope you're 
happy!"  Mmmm, that sounds a little out of character.  

But then again, if there really is something to this Life Debt 
business, then I think a lot of people are living on credit.  Snape 
owes James (PoA).  Pettigrew owes Harry (PoA).  Harry owes Dumbledore 
(PoA in Quiddich).  Hermione owes Harry and Ron (PS/SS Troll).  
Sirius owes Hermione and Harry (PoA Rescue).  Voldemort owes 
Pettigrew (GoF Re-Birthing).  Ginny owes Harry (CoS Chamber).  Harry 
owes the graveyard shadows (GoF).  Real Moody owes Dumbledore (GoF 
Trunk).  Harry owes Dobby (GoF Second Task).  

Did I miss any?  

Elkins wrote (about Dumbledore's gleam):

> Oh, that?  That one's easy.
> 
> It was just a trick of the light.

Yeah, you're right.  It was an errant twinkle.  Could have happened 
to anyone.

Cindy (wondering how Crouch Jr. is able to kill his father when his 
father sprung him from Azkaban, which ought to create at least a mini-
Life Debt)