Harry Not Crying

[sdb555]

No: HPFGUIDX 32947

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "Eric Oppen" <oppen at c...> wrote:
> It's always been my impression that Harry doesn't cry for several 
different
> reasons.  Having _been_ a teenage boy myself (this admittedly was 
when
> dinosaurs roamed the earth) I can testify that crying is NOT 
socially
> acceptable for boys beyond about age five, unless in extraordinary
> circumstances such as a funeral.  I would bet that if Dinky Duddums 
tried
> that "wail and I'll get what I want" act in front of his peers at 
Smeltings,
> or even in front of Piers Polkiss (ISTR he shuts right up when Piers
> appears, if you'll pardon a bit of wordplay) his reputation with 
them would
> be mud.
> 
> Also, Harry is English---which also would discourage him from 
crying.  The
> English ideal (and any net.Englishmen or net.Englishwomen on here 
are
> welcome to correct me, but this is the impression I got while over 
there) is
> to display very little strong emotion---"that's for those bally 
wogs," and
> so on.  Sorrow and joy are both held in tightly, and anger, if 
shown at all,
> is supposed to come out in savage dry wit---think "Blackadder, 
really p*ssed
> off," or something like that.  
> 
> Finally, Harry probably just retreated behind a wall of apparent
> indifference to survive at the Dursleys' residence.
> 
> Comments?

I had been lurking but this post provided me with an opportunity to 
provide an insight.

As someone who only a few years older than harry in GoF, a Boy and in 
England I feel I can rise to the challange of comments!

You are quite correct that for harry to cry about something like this 
event would leave him feeling extremely embarassed and his friends 
extremely concerned. If you take Ron (as a best friend) for example 
he would probably spend the next 6 months expecting Harry to colapse 
at his feet and have a nervous breakdown if he saw him start crying.

You have to imagine that to start crying is a show of emotion and you 
are quite right in thinking that it really isn't 'acceptable' for 
boys to cry at the age of 14. People spend a remarkable amount of 
effort trying not to show any form of emotion such as pain 
or 'emotional suffering'. If Harry did start crying in front of Ron 
or another male friend then the friend would also be embarrased and 
would likely try to prentend he isn't crying or find an excuse to 
leave. They certainly wouldn't be asking what the matter was or 
trying to help in the way girls would.

The way that boys do try and come to terms with things that happen is 
to go somewhere private (bedroom/a walk/wherever)and just go over it 
in their head. Even if they had a parent or an adult they could talk 
to they would say everthing is fine and refuse to even discuss the 
subject.

Hope that made sense and provided an insight.

Stewart