Hey, Hey, I’m a Beetle (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 40844

Hey, Hey, I'm a Beetle (from GoF)

(To the tune of The Monkees' Theme Song)

Dedicated to Lilac

THE SCENE: The grounds of Hogwarts. A solitary bug in flight hums 
triumphantly to herself

SKEETER
Here I fly
An Animagic bug
If your name starts with "H", I'm
Pulling out the rug

Hey, hey, I'm a beetle
Quick-Quote elite'll go far 
Now I'm so busy spying
On that kid with the scar.

I write want I want to 
Who cares if it's untrue?
I dish it up for my readers
In a derisive stew

Hey, hey, I'm a beetle 
Just watch as I beetle my brow
I designate my victims
They all wind up as my chow

I'm just trying to be caustic
Wanna keep some scandal in play
Bring on their degradation
`Cause it's now their turn to pay

(Suddenly the beetle's free flight comes to abrupt end as a butterfly 
net swooshes over it.  The camera pans back to reveal Hermione 
holding the net. She imprisons the insect Skeeter in a glass jar, and 
casts an Unbreakable Charm over it) 

HERMIONE
There she was 
Spreading lies so far
But now it seems that the buzz is
She's been set ajar

Hey, hey, you're a beetle
You know from deceit you'll be barred 
You haven't any license
Seems like I hold all the cards

HERMIONE & RITA
Hey, hey, you're/I'm a beetle
It seems that you/I needled me/you much 
So now get/I'm busy chewing
On leaves and twigs and such.

HERMIONE
You'll be retirin' for one year
You are not to snoop or write
You've got no ventilation
It's seems my case is air-tight.

HERMIONE & RITA
Hey, hey, you're/I'm a beetle
Hey, hey, you're/I'm a beetle
Hey, hey, you're/I'm a beetle




  - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm