Ron and Giving Comfort (WAS: Hurt Comfort and Reader Crushes)

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 39278

Pippin:
<<<<I can't help but feel, you know, that Ron appeals to a more 
mature 
taste (assuming he grows out of the jealousy thing), as he's a 
character that can give comfort as well as receive it.>>>>


Laura said:
<<<<Mature taste?  Alright...I'll admit that, being a teenager, I 
probably am not the best authority on what is "mature", but 
well..jeez.  Ron seems very unhealthy and immature right now when it 
comes to *coughs* matters of the heart..>>>>


Well, I do admit Ron has been known to don RIOTGEAR from time to time 
<g>. But, I must point out (correct me if I'm putting words into your 
mouth here Pippin) that Pippin did not suggest that Ron himself is 
mature, but that he appeals to more mature * tastes*. A very 
different point.


Penny, once she got over her snorting fit, said:


<<<<<<<But, seriously ... when does Ron show instances that he can 
*give* comfort?  I've thought hard about this, and I can't really 
honestly come up with anything that falls into what I would 
subjectively rate as "giving comfort.">>>>>>

<<<<<<Hermione, of course, is a girl ..... and while she has moments 
of insensitivity or obtuseness, she is general in touch with her 
emotions & completely capable of offering comfort and help to those 
in need (and is perceptive enough to recognize the need for it ... as 
in intuiting that Harry might not want to go to the Great Hall for 
breakfast the morning after the Goblet chose the champions and as in 
her observance of the effects of Moody's class on the Unforgivable 
Curses on Neville).>>>>>>>


Well, Hermione definitely is more mature than Ron about admitting to 
feelings. Though I'm not half as sure she knows how to handle them 
any better. But again, I would make a distinction, this time 
between "giving comfort" and actually being comforting. Hermione is 
open to receiving other peoples emotional signals and interpreting 
them too when she wants to. Picking up on Neville's distress in 
Moody's class and figuring out the real reasons behind Ron lying 
accusation against Harry are prime examples of this. However she's 
not all that good when it comes to doing something about it 
afterwards. Frankly she can be a bit too forward and bossy:


"Ron," said Hermione, in an I—don't—think—you're—being—very—sensitive 
sort of voice, "Harry doesn't want to play Quidditch right now. . . 
he's worried, and he's tired. . . we all need to go to bed. . ."


This scene illustrates my point very well. Here Hermione is of course 
the one who's being the most the most sensitive and the one "giving 
comfort". But it's Ron suggestion that Harry actually finds the most 
comfort in.


I think the difference is that Ron's a lot more laid—back than 
Hermione. He puts people at ease naturally-- as opposed to Hermione 
puts them on edge. He does not consciously go about making people 
feel better, but the effect is achieved nevertheless. And 
his "comfort giving" is attempted through actions rather than words.--
 He is invariably ill at ease when it comes to voicing his concern 
for others. Hence he hardly features at all in the "Making Hagrid 
Feel Better" scene in GoF—it's Hermione who makes herself heard 
here ;^). But through his actions Ron is very good at making people 
feel cared for. He doesn't need to tell them.


I think that the most comforting thing about Ron is that he takes 
people as they come. He accepts them for what they are, no questions 
asked. 

GoF, "Beaubatons and Durmstrang": "That was a lie, * Harry,*" said 
Hermione sharply over breakfst, when he told her and Ron what he had 
done "You * didn't* imagine you scar hurting and you know it."

"So what?" said Harry. "He's not going back to Azkaban because of me."

"Drop it," said Ron sharply to Hermione.


Hermione's right here of course. Harry * did* lie. But that's not 
what he wants to hear. Ron isn't handing out moral lectures. He's 
simply accepting Harry's decision and the reasons behind it. Should 
he have done so? Well, that's another story. . . But his attitude is 
the most * comforting* if not anything else.


And, you know, I also think it's telling that Ron is the only person 
that Harry hasn't lied to to date. He just doesn't put that kind of 
pressure on people.


<<<<<Strangely enough, even with the deficiencies in his own 
emotional background and even with the Growing Up Weasley working in 
Ron's favor, I think at this point in the canon, Harry is head & 
shoulders above Ron in the department of being in touch with his 
feelings and being capable of having and responding to his own 
emotions as well as those of others >>>>

<<<<<But, at the end of GoF, I'd say that Harry is in better shape 
overall on that front.>>>>>


Wow! Hang on! Harry in touch with his feelings? You sure? <pause>
Well, I'm blown, I truly am. I * never* read Harry as sensitive. 
Never. As for comforting, capable of responding to emotions. . . 
well, I'm going to need some Can(n)on here, I really am.


As far as I can see for the most part Harry tends to be rather more 
than less unaware of others' feelings. His insensitivity in fact 
often reaches the point of downright rudeness. He's definitely abrupt 
more than once to Ginny and both of the Creeveys not to mention Dobby 
and Moaning Myrtle. I know he doesn't like being hero—worshipped but 
I'm sure it does nothing for Colin's confidence to be cold—shouldered 
and brushed off all the time. I love Harry, but he's famous and he's 
just got to learn to deal with that. And you know that little saying 
of Sirius's about men and their inferiors?


Charis Julia, who identifies more strongly with Hermione, but can't 
help loving Ron best.